Say Something
by DangerouslyYours
Summary: How do you fix something you've broken? Two children and a divorce later, Bella's world is changing again.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N- I got the idea from another fic called Come Undone.**

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_Say something I'm giving up on you_

_I'll be the one if you want me to_

_Anywhere I would've followed you_

_Say something I'm giving up on you_

_Say Something- A Great Big World_

BPOV

I sat on the toilet, praying with all my might that the stick on the sink gave me the answer I wanted. This wasn't supposed to happen, at least not like this. I wasn't supposed to be divorced at thirty-two, and I sure as hell wasn't supposed to be pregnant with my ex-husband's baby.

My phone dinged, and I sent up another tiny prayer to God. _Please, please_, I begged. This just couldn't happen to me. I, Isabella Cullen Masen couldn't be pregnant.

I slowly picked up the stick. I closed my eyes, while sucking in a deep breath. _It's now or never._ I opened my eyes to see the word _Pregnant_ clearly displayed in front of me. "Fuck," I muttered. This couldn't be happening. My life actually could get more screwed up than it already was, who knew?

I had been divorced for three months, but there was one drunken night. It was a few days before our divorce was final, and we had both been at our favorite bar. Deep down though, I wanted it to be more than just a night. I thought we might actually have a chance of working on our problems. No such luck as he was gone by the time I woke up.

I remember falling asleep in his warm embrace after thinking that we had a future. Turns out it was only a last fuck to get me out of his mind. He didn't love me anymore.

The divorce also drew lines for our custody battle. Unfortunately, I had been more of an absentee parent to our two children over the last two years. I had constantly worked, which meant missing out on a lot of things like recitals and soccer games. Looking back now, I could see why the judge granted him custody of the children. Edward let me keep the house though as he had moved out before we even filed. Well when I say we, I mean him. I had called his bluff when he moved out. I thought he would be back within a few days, but then days turned into weeks.

"_If you want a divorce, why didn't you just say so?" I blurted out when he came to pick up the children to stay at his apartment. _

_He furrowed his brow as if he were trying to wrap his head around my words. I knew though that he wanted to be done with me. "What are you talking about Isabella?" He said harshly. _

_That hurt a lot. He had never called me by my first name before, and to hear it from his lips now meant things really were over between us. I had cause irreparable damage to our marriage, and he no longer wanted to fix it. We had lost our way. "I mean I will call my lawyer to get divorce proceedings started. Obviously, you don't want to be with me so why should we continue to cause each other pain." I turned quickly on my heel to rush upstairs, not wanting to hear whatever else he had to say. My heart couldn't bear to hear more despair. _

As soon as I found out he moved out, I filed. I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of dumping me. I wanted to keep at least some of my pride. My children hated me, and it was obvious why. I was a terrible mother. They loved their daddy more. They blamed me for their dad moving, the divorce, everything. God, how could this happen? I palmed my face as I tried to figure out a solution to my problem. I could go and tell Edward everything right now, but then he would probably demand I get a paternity test once the child was born.

I may have been an absentee wife and mother, but I would never step out on my husband. I loved him too much to do that. Besides, my mother would wring my neck. She wasn't speaking to me at the moment anyways. She thought I was being childish and stupid. She said, "Isabella Marie Masen, you're throwing away the best goddamn thing that has happened to you. If you let him get away, then you've truly fucked up." Now if you knew my mother, you would understand why I could only gape at her. She never swore or raised her voice. Usually, she spoke in a calm and controlled manner. Esme Cullen could out talk the best, but she never let her anger get the better of her. It wasn't only her who was mad at me, us. Both of our families had been pretty pissed when we announced that we were getting a divorce.

My parents, his parents urged us to say something before it was too late. We both gave up though. We didn't fight. My siblings refused to speak to me until I talked to him, but I am stubborn. Him signing the papers made it real. He was done with me, with us.

I couldn't call her. I didn't want her to know how badly I fucked up. She would be so disappointed in me once again. I wanted desperately to tell Edward, but I didn't want to hear the words, "this changes nothing." I may not have the best ways of showing it, but I loved my children. Liam was the oldest at seven, and his sister Posy was five.

I tried to spend as much time with them as I possibly could, but I was trying to make partner at my law firm. That required late nights and early mornings. I rarely ever took time off except when I was pregnant with Posy. Edward worked from home, and was able to be there for all their milestones. He helped them with homework and took them to playdates. I maybe spent all of a few hours with them on the weekends.

We had a shared custody agreement where the children stayed with me every other weekend, and I would drop them off at my sister's on Monday so she could take them to school. Edward would pick them up. I hated saying goodbye to them.

I placed my hands on my stomach. I already loved this child, no matter the circumstances that brought them here. There was only one person besides my ex that I needed.

I picked up my phone and dialed the number before I chickened out. "Hello?" She answered.

"Mom," I cried. I missed her voice. I missed her desperately. We hadn't talked in almost six months.

"Bella, sweetie what's wrong?"

"I made a mistake, and I don't know how to fix it."

"I'm on my way."

"I love you mom." I meant it too.

"I love you too honey."

Everything would be alright once my mom was here. She knew how to fix anything. Although, I didn't how to fix this.

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**A/N- Let me know what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N- This is the second chapter. This fic is only going to be around 10-15 chapters, not very long.**

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In the fifteen minutes it took for my mother to arrive, I had worked myself into a panic. _What if Edward takes this child too…? He can't. _I loved this child so much. He or she didn't asked to be born into this fucked up situation, and Posy had been asking for a little sister. Of course, once she found out that mommy and daddy were no longer together, she stopped asking.

I hated seeing the downtrodden look in her eyes. I had broken not only my heart, but my children's as well. They had lived in the same house their entire lives, and now they lived in a three bedroom apartment on the other side of the city.

I never realized how lonely I was until they were no longer here. I had gotten a dog. Pumpkin had helped with some of my loneliness. I stopped working as much because it didn't mean anything when you didn't have anyone to share it with.

Pumpkin laid his head in my lap. He was a huge German Shepherd, but I loved him. He was my Pumpkin. He slept by my bed at night. He was protective, and it made me love him more. I scratched his head absentmindedly. He was a good boy. The kids hadn't visited me in a month because both of the weekends they should have come over, they were busy. They hadn't met Pumpkin, and I was beginning to think they never were.

I knew it was all my fault. I had accepted that the first night that the children were gone. I sat alone in the dark for hours just staring out of the kitchen window. I barely registered time passing for those first few days. My family was right, and I should've talked to Edward. But it wasn't like he was going out of his way to speak to me either. _God, that sounded so high school Bella_… I was a thirty-two year old woman, and I couldn't even keep a marriage because of my lack of communication skills.

Warm hands cupped my face, and I instinctively leaned into them. "Bella, sweetheart I need you to look at me." I did what she asked. She gently wiped the tears away. I didn't even realize I was crying. "Honey, I need you to tell me what has happened. Is it Edward? The kids?"

I shook my head. "Well, kind of," I answered.

She cocked her head to the side in confusion. "I can't help you unless you tell me what's wrong." She continued to run her fingers through my hair like she did when I was a child.

"Mom, I've royally fucked up my life. I'm divorced. My kids hate me. And I'm… I'm pregnant mom." She gasped.

"Oh sweetie, you need to tell Edward." Shock crossed my face because it wasn't like I had given my mother the best impression of me these last couple of months. "I'm not dumb. You wouldn't be this worried unless you had sex with him. When did you find out?"

I ducked my head. "Today, but I'm about three months. I attributed all the signs to stress. Granted, I haven't been drinking alcohol or coffee lately, but still. I didn't know. Now if I tell him, he will think I have been keep it a secret from him."

She sighed as her fingers stilled in my hair. She clasped my hand tightly in her own. "Do you still love him?" She gently asked.

I nodded, unsure where she was going with this. "Then you've got to tell him. Bella, I didn't not raise you to be someone who runs away from their problems. I know that you and Edward have had your problems. You both fucked up, you more so than him but that doesn't matter in the scheme of things. You guys shouldn't be living in two different homes. You should be together enjoying the fact that you're going to be bringing another life into the world. You've got to say these things while you still can. Edward could be hit by a bus tomorrow, and you would never get a chance to atone for everything. He would never know that he's got another child."

Damn, my mother always knew how to tell it like it is. She was more than right. I had to tell Edward everything. "Oh mom, does this mean you forgive me?" I looked into her eyes with my watery ones.

"Sweetheart, I never was angry. Sure, I was more than displeased by your actions, but that's because I only want what is best for you. And Edward is the best for you. Daddy thinks so too even though he won't admit it." I chuckled. My dad still had his issues with my ex-husband.

He may not have been too happy with my decision to get a divorce, but he still called me every night to let me know he loved and supported me. I threw my arms around her neck. "I missed you." I whispered into her hair.

She kissed my hair as she held me tightly in her arms. "I missed you as well. I'm sorry that I let all of this get in-between us. I only wish you hadn't inherited my stubbornness. It would've saved you a lot of misery and loneliness in the long run."

I nodded. "Definitely, I also inherited your temperament as well. That really didn't do me any favors." She pinched my side teasingly.

"Now get your ass in the shower, put on clothes that don't look like you've slept in them, and go tell Edward how you feel."

"Can you watch Pumpkin for me?"

She quirked an eyebrow at me as she stared at my dog. "You named this furry best Pumpkin?" I nodded and she shook her head. "You kids always gave your pets the weirdest names." I poked my tongue out at her before she swatted my behind. "Come on Isabella, you're prolonging the inevitable."

I rushed up the stairs to my bedroom. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a nice shirt. It was a nice dark blue. He always said it was his favorite color on me. I hopped into the shower, and quickly scrubbed at my skin.

I nearly slipped getting out of the shower. I ran a brush through my hair. I had chopped off six inches after the divorce. Edward hadn't seen me since that night. We exchanged the kids between our relatives. I know that's beyond immature, but I was afraid to see him happy when I was miserable.

My mother was sitting on the couch with my dog next to her. She glanced at me as I descended the steps. "You're looking better. When did you cut your hair?"

I ran a hand through my hair. "A few months ago, I didn't want it long anymore. I like it."

She smiled. "It reminds me of when you were a little girl. You used to keep your hair should length."

"Okay, well I'm going to head over to Edward's now." I kissed her cheek, and gave Pumpkin a rub.

"I've got to get myself one of these." I rolled my eyes at her. I grabbed the keys to my SUV, and I was out the door.

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**A/N- It takes a strong person to admit their mistakes, and boy has Bella messed up. Hopefully, she can still fix it.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**-** Here's chapter 3, and let me tell I am very surprised by the reception of this story. I was inspired by the song of course, and then reading the other fic, it reminded me how easy it is to lose sight of everything. Marriage is based on communication, and somewhere along the way, several marriages suffer because of the lack of communication between couples. This is not beta'd.**

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_And I am feeling so small_  
_ It was over my head_  
_ I know nothing at all_

_ And I will stumble and fall_  
_ I'm still learning to love_  
_ Just starting to crawl_

_Say Something~ A Great Big World_

I almost drove back fifteen times. He lived in an apartment in Chicago, while I lived in our brownstone. Well I guess it was mine, now. Every time I got caught in the afternoon traffic, I would halfheartedly convince myself that maybe it just wasn't mean to be.

Only I know, I wouldn't be able to go home because my mother was still there. She would more than likely maim or kill me if I walked into that house without talking to Edward. She was adamant that I finally act like the adult I had been proclaiming to be since I was eighteen. Deep down, I was scared. It was as simple as that.

If Edward was happier without me, then I was useless. He could easily raise this child who would grow to hate me as well. I know I should want him to be happy without me since it was my fault our marriage had ended in the first place. If I hadn't spent so much damn time at the office, trying to make partner, I wouldn't have missed out on everything in our family. I would've seen Liam's first soccer game, and Posy's first steps. I won't get those moments back. There are all these photos of Edward and the kids, and I am missing in all of them.

My job isn't worth it if I don't have someone to share my successes with me. I remember when I met Edward. We met in high school, and we definitely didn't hit it off right away.

_March 1998_

_I walked into biology to notice that someone was sitting in my seat. Everyone knew that I sat there every day. I enjoyed being the seat by the window in the back of the classroom. However, this stranger had decided that seats were a free for all. I could only see his hair, which wasn't all that impressive. It stuck up at every angle. _

_I came up next to him, and cleared my throat. He looked up at me. His face was covered in acne, and his face still held a bit of baby fat. He had nice hands though, with long elegant fingers. "Is there a problem?" He asked in a velvety soft voice._

_I blushed. "Yes, you're sitting in my seat." He looked around, and then smirked at me. I didn't like where this was going._

"_Is that so? I don't see your name on it." _

_I crossed my arms, unimpressed with his humor. "I have been sitting there all year. That is my seat. I like it because it has a good view of the city."_

_His eyes were filled with laughter. "Well, I guess you can find a new one because I like this seat, and its' view the city as well."_

_I had to keep myself from slapping the shit out of him. "You are so frustrating."_

"_I take that as a compliment."_

"_Then I must not have said it right." I muttered. Obviously he must have heard me because he started chuckling. I stuck my tongue out at him, and stomped off. I took a seat next to my friend Angela, who couldn't stop giggling. _

"_I've never seen you so angry before Bella. It's only a seat." She reminded me._

_I rolled my eyes at her. "It is the principle of the matter Ang. That has been my seat the entire year, and some new kid thinks he can just come in here and change things up."_

_She snorted. "Well, he is kind of cute." I scoffed. "What? You don't think so?"_

"_Of course not," I told her. She was being absurd. There was no way I could ever like him. He had a bad attitude. I glanced at the back of the classroom where he sat, watching me. My stomach flopped at the way he raised his eyebrows at me. I quickly turned my face back toward the front, and waited until class started. However, I could feel his eyes on me the entire class period. His gaze was intense, and left my body aching for something. I wasn't sure what. _

_After class, I high tailed it out of the room, wanting to be far away from the ass as possible. I had found out his name was Edward Masen, and his family had just moved here from New York. He was fifteen like the rest of us. The school was fairly big, so it wasn't news when we had a new student. _

_I was at my locker at the end of the school day when he caught up to me. "Can I get your name?" He asked. I slammed my locker shut to gape at him._

"_Excuse me? Why would I give you my number when you were being an ass?"_

_He nudged my shoulder. "Come on, I just wanted to get under skin pretty girl. You seem well liked by everyone. I didn't think you were serious about the seat."_

_I sniffed. I was only feigning anger now. "I was. Wait… did you call me pretty?" It took me a few seconds to register his words._

_He grinned at me, and his eyes lit up as well. I could watch him smile like that forever. "Yeah, I think you're pretty. If it means that much to you, I will move a seat over."_

_I smiled a little. He could be charming when he wanted to be. "I don't know. It seems like I am getting the short end of the stick here. I am giving you my name."_

"_You could throw your number in as well." He added emphatically. _

_I tapped my chin. "I don't know. What do I get out of this?"_

_He leaned closer, and I sucked in a breath. He smelled like sandalwood. It was delicious, and I was drowning in him. "Me," he whispered huskily in my ear. I think I swooned. _

"_It's Bella Cullen." I told him. _

"_My beautiful Bella, I like it." His eyes never once strayed from my face. As my eyes roamed over his face, I realized he wasn't bad looking at all. _

_His hair screamed sex. It was a reddish brown color. His eyes were grass green with flecks of orange. His acne wasn't really that bad, and didn't factor into anything. He was also tall. Way taller than my 5'2" frame. _

"_If I give you my number you'll actually use it. You won't give it to anyone will you?" I asked chewing my lip. _

_His hand reached out to my lip from my teeth. My gaze lingered on his hand, which was still touching my lip. "No, Bella, he breathed. "I will actually call." I scribbled my home number on a scrap of paper. Our hands briefly touched, and a warm, tingly feeling shot up my arm. It wasn't unpleasant in the slightest. It was actually kind of nice. _

"_Just so you know Edward," I said saucily. "I don't normally give my numbers to guys I just met." I quickly hurried down the hall, adding a little swish to my hips. Despite, not quite getting along within the first five minutes of meeting, I liked him, and not in a platonic sort of way. _

My memories had carried me all the way to Edward's parking garage. I sighed, not sure if I could do this. I had ruined my life, my kid's life, and Edward's, all in one go. Sometimes I wondered why he stuck with me through it all. I wasn't exactly the best wife, once I started law school. The romance had been put on the back burner. And we rarely had sex especially after Posy was born, and I took on more responsibility at the firm.

I forgot what was important in life. More than once though, Edward had accused me of cheating on him. It was only because he was upset his wife was never home; he knew I could never cheat on him. He was angry at me, and he had every right to be. I never listened to him; I passively listened to him as he begged me to spend less time at work. My mother always told me I was too much like my father. He had spent a lot of time at the hospital, and one day he came home to an empty house.

My mother had taken us to our grandparents for a few days, and one day my daddy came. He looked like a mess. I had never seen his hair in such disarray before. He appeared extremely tired. He literally got down on his knees and begged my mother to come home. My father promised to cut back on his hours as long as my mother and us, kids came back home with home. She agreed of course, and they renewed their vows later that year.

I don't really remember it all that much as I was five at the time. I think that's probably why my siblings sided with Edward because they are a few years older than me. Rosalie is four years older than me, and Jasper is six. They were old enough to know what was going on between my parents, and had seen how it had almost destroyed their marriage. They saw it as our parents all over again, except this time I was my dad and Edward, my mom.

I sighed as I took my keys out of the ignition. _I can do this… I can do this… I CAN'T do this. _My legs continued to move even though I wanted nothing more than to wretch into the nearest trashcan. I only knew what his floor and number was because of the number of times, Rosalie had to drop off the kids for me. I entered the elevator, on the verge of hyperventilating. I was so goddamned nervous. I thought I would actually chew my lip off. I tried to tell myself that this was only Edward. There wasn't a reason to be nervous; I knew him better than anyone. He knew me just as well.

I stopped outside of his door. Unsure of whether to knock or not. I mean I wasn't sure how well he would take me coming over here unannounced. I knocked on the door and waited. A minute or two had passed, and no one had come to the door. I sighed. I guess no one was home.

I headed back down the hall when the door opened. "Bella?" Edward whispered. His voice was like a gentle caress. I froze on the spot, not turning around in case he was a figment of my imagination. "Bella sweetheart, is that you?"

I was on the verge of hysteria. I couldn't do this. I don't know what the hell my mother was talking about. I did not have the strength to deal with this. "Edward, who is it?" A voice, to be more specific a female voice asked.

"Oh god," I choked out. He had moved on. I blew my chance. I quickly rushed down the hall, opting to take the stairs instead of the elevator. Tears were streaming down my face. This was completely my fault. I had pushed him away, and he found comfort in someone else. He loved someone. I hoped she could be good to him, better than me at least.

"Bella," he bellowed from a few flights above. "Please wait."

"No," I yelled back. "This was a mistake. Go back to your apartment Edward."

"Damnit Bella, this has always been your problem." I stopped dead in my tracks, and looked up at him, fury burning in my eyes.

"What did you just say?"

"I said you always fucking run away when things get hard." I swallowed because that was a hard pill to take.

"Well, you give up and don't fight." I retorted. He was still making his way down the stairs to me.

"I didn't think you wanted me to." He replied softly.

I looked down. I didn't know if I wanted him to, then anyways. He was finally within arm's length of me. "What do you want Bella?"

"Something that's not mine anymore." I turned my head away from. I didn't want him to see me crying.

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**A/N- Let me know what you think. I know a lot kind of happened in this chapter. I decided to end with a cliffhanger because this was just a good place to end it. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N- I know a lot of you have been dying to know what is going to happen next. Bear with me hear because everything is not as it seems. If I deem the amount of reviews I get a fair response, then I will post the next chapter tomorrow. However, if not you can wait until after Easter. This chapter is told from both B and E's pov.**

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_And I will swallow my pride  
You're the one that I love  
And I'm saying goodbye_

As a little girl, I used to sit on the floor in my bedroom imagining the man I was going to marry. I remember talking with my sister, asking her exactly what a marriage is. I was only five.

_1987_

_I watched my sister twirling around my bedroom as she recounted her entire day. Apparently, there was a new boy in her class. She was in fourth grade. She was what the others in my class called 'The Big Kids'. Sometimes we still played together, but Rosie was starting to prefer hanging out with her own friends. _

_"His name is Emmett. He's ten." She gushed to me. Her blue eyes were glazed over, and she couldn't stop smiling. "When Mikey started pulling on my ponytail today during class, Emmett told him he had to stop. He said that's not how boys treat girls they like. He winked at me." She was in a daze as she kept twirling. We were both in ballet, but she was at a more advanced level than my five year old self. _

_"Do you think you're going to marry him Rosie?" My sister stopped twirling to look at me. _

_She cocked her to the side. "I'm only nine Bell-a." She always dragged out my name like that when she was annoyed with me. "It could be him one day, I guess." She shrugged her shoulders in a noncommittal gesture. _

_I, however refused to drop the subject. "Well mommy and daddy are married, and they like each other. Don't you like Emmett?" My five year old logic was really something to behold. She rolled her eyes at me as if I was being childish._

_"Honestly Bella," she huffed. "You can't marry someone just because you like them." I frowned at her. "You have to love them. Daddies and mommies fall in love first."_

_I tilted my head and crinkled my brow. "How do you fall in love?" I was perturbed. I always thought it was like in my princess stories. The prince kisses his princess in a kiss of true love and they live happily ever after. _

_"I don't know. They go out on dates and stuff. You know like how daddy sometimes takes mommy on dates." I nodded my head. "Well he didn't always do that before, but he does now because he wants her to fall in love with him again."_

_"Mommy doesn't love daddy?" Tears pierced my eyes because I was too young to understand the complexity of an adult relationship. _

_My sister came to kneel beside me. "She does." She assured me, wiping away the tears on my face. "Only sometimes, mommy gets angry with daddy because he works so much. That makes mommy sad. Do you remember going to Mimi and Papa's house?" I nodded. "Well we went there because mommy want daddy to understand that she was sad that he cared more about work than her. But daddy is mommy's prince, and came begging on one knee for her to take him back. They then shared a kiss because that's what you do when you're in love." She sighed again. _

_"I'm going to marry someone just as hansome as daddy." I had a bit of trouble saying certain words. "He's going to love me just like daddy loves mommy. He's going to be my knight in shining armor."_

_My sister ruffled my hair. I huffed indignantly at her. "Okay I think you've watched a little too many princess movies." I poked my tongue out at her. _

I couldn't look at him after those words left my lips. It was too embarrassing. He had moved on. That kept reverberating over and over in my head. Someone else had taken my place in his heart.

I heard him shuffle. "Is there a reason you came over today?"

I nodded, still refusing to look at him. I wouldn't be able to bear the sight of happiness on his face. "Can you tell me what it is?" He asked in a softer tone. Much softer than the one he had used earlier.

I wiped angrily at the traitor tears. "It can wait." I told him.

"Are you sure? You seemed really upset." I sniffed, only confirming his theory that I was upset.

I bit my lip. "Can you at least look at me?" I shook my head in the negative. "You always were stubborn." He grabbed my arms, and turned me to face him. He had grown a few more inches since that day we first met. He still smelt of sandalwood, but there was a smell of lavender that clung to him. That only confirmed my fears. He tilted my chin to look up at him. "Please, you know you can tell me anything?"

More tears fell from my eyes. "You're going to hate me."

"Well, why don't you tell me what it is, and then I can tell you whether I hate you or not. I doubt I would. I could never hate you."

I shook my head. "You will." I promised. But then I remembered the girl upstairs, if that was his girlfriend, I wouldn't only be ruining his life, and I would only be interfering in their relationship. "But before I say anything, who was that woman?"

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "She's your girlfriend, isn't she?"

"Her name is Kate. I met her three months ago." I choked on my tears.

"And she's playing mommy to my children. Is that why they haven't come over in the last two weekends? You know I can take you back to court for failing to comply with the custody agreement." He looked gob smacked by that. However, they were my children. I may not have been the most involved of parents, but there was no way I was going to allow someone else to mother them. That was my job. I guess it's true about they say. You don't know what you have until it's gone.

His face contorted into anger. "Oh now you give a shit about them? Someone else shows interest, and you decide you want to become fucking mother of the year."

I slapped him. My hand stung like a bitch. I don't know who was more shocked by actions, him or me. I had never hit him before. We may have gotten into some heated arguments when we were married, but nothing that escalated to physical blows. "Fuck you Edward, I want my kids at my house this weekend. Do you understand? I will take you back to court if you don't."

"I would like to see you try sweetheart." He challenged. I huffed, and pushed him away from me.

I had completely forgotten the reason I had come over here in the first place. To be honest, it wouldn't do well to drop this news on him when we were both angry. It would only make the situation that much worse.

"You know what Bella to prevent either of us from saying something else tonight, how about we meet some time later this week, and you can tell me whatever it is. I promise I will listen."

I nodded. I couldn't say anything. My mouth refused to open. An awkwardness took over, and before the situation became more awkward, I left.

"My mother is going to kill me." I decided to forego going back home for the moment. I went to the one place I had always felt safe. My parents' house in Lincoln Park.

My parents had lived in the turreted Victorian house as long as I could remember. I sat on the front steps, waiting for my dad. He always knew when I was here. I heard the front door open, and didn't bother looking back.

He gently sat beside me, and let me think. My dad and I were a lot alike. We both had the tendency to process information at length instead of making quick decisions. However, processing is what tended to get us in trouble. "Daddy, I screwed up." I told him.

He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and kissed my temple. "We all do at some point princess. Why don't you tell me what is going on?"

I hesitated. It's not per se that I didn't want to tell him, so much as I didn't want to tell him. I didn't want to see the disappointment in his eyes. As a child, I had always hated disappointing my father more than my mother. There was just something about the defeated look in his eyes when he found out I had done something naughty, that I hated seeing. It was like whatever we kids did was a reflection of him.

I held back the tears as I told him everything. I skipped over a few details, feeling that we would both be quite uncomfortable talking about my sex life. "Well, Bellarina it's hard to say, but you fucked up." My head snapped up, and I could only gape at my father. We all knew my mother had a loose tongue and a penchant for swear words, but I don't think I've even heard my father ever say damn. "You know all about your mother and me when you were a little girl. I almost lost her because I was blinded, you see. I wanted to be the best, but I was only best when I had my family. At the end of the day what do we really have? You could get fired tomorrow, and yeah you have money but where's the love? I would've thought you more than anyone would have understood my mistakes. We are a lot alike."

I ducked my head. He was right. We were way too much alike. We were stubborn, hard headed, and we always thought we were right. "I was wrong."

"Yeah you were. You let yourself forget who has been there for you all along. I may not have always like Edward," he wrinkled his noise causing me to giggle. That was an understatement. "But he's a good man and father. He loves you. Sure he may have a girlfriend, but honey the man is lonely and practically raising two children on his own."

I crossed my arms over my chest. "Thanks dad as if I needed even more of a reminder of the massive fuck up that is my life."

He held his hands out in front of him. "Honey, your problem has always been that you can't admit you need help. We all need help at some point. You have never been alone in your entire life, but you constantly try to make it as if you are. You had Edward and your children, and now you've got this other child on the way that he has no idea about. Do you think it fair that he has to miss out on this child's life because you were too selfish to tell him the truth?" When I didn't respond, he continued. "When I thought I lost your mother and you children, I thought I was going to die. You were or rather are my everything, and I didn't appreciate you guys like I should. I took you guys for advantage, and expected you to always be there when I got home. The day you weren't I realized, I couldn't live without you guys."

This is why I came to him. He knew what it was like. Yeah, there are some things I prefer to discuss with my mother over my father, but in this case my dad was more knowledgeable. He had almost made the same mistake, except he didn't let it go as far as I had.

"Dad," I whispered. "Do you agree with everyone else? That this is mostly my fault, and that I should've talked with Edward." I clarified.

He looked away and I had my answer. "Yeah, I guess you're right. I thought I could have it all. I would make partner, and then once that happened I could be more exclusive with my caseload. I could spend more time with Edward and the kids, but then he moved out. We started fighting every time we saw each other, or rather I instigated every fight. I would walk off when it didn't go my way. I sent the divorce papers." I choked out. My dad slid me onto his lap, while I cried into his chest like I did when I was little girl.

I clutched his shirt tightly between my fingers as I let everything out. I wasn't allowed to show emotion because in everyone's opinion it was my fault. "Shh… sweet girl, it's okay." He said in a soothing voice, rocking me gently. "It is not entirely your fault. Edward did his part too. You need to relax. Holding all these emotions in isn't going to help you. It will hinder you. You can't keep blaming yourself because that isn't going to do anything productive but set you back."

"I love you dad." I told him.

"I love you more than all the stars."

I giggled. "No that's how much I love you."

He hugged me tightly. And I sighed in his warm embrace. "I wish it could be as simple as you said."

"It can be honey. Call Edward tomorrow to meet up for lunch or something and tell him. Otherwise, he will probably try to say it is someone else's child. Just let your brother and I know if we have to deal with him. He knows better than to mistreat you."

I smacked his chest. "I'm not fifteen anymore. I don't need or appreciate you and Jasper threatening him."

"You're my little girl. You think we didn't scare the piss out of Emmett either. Sweetie, just because he's huge doesn't mean he isn't terrified of the capabilities of a surgeon." I shivered.

"That's so messed up dad." He shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal. I looked up to see his blue sparkling merrily. "I can only imagine what you told Edward the first time he came over to take me on a date."

He guffawed loudly that Mrs. McCloud across the street glared sharply at him. "I thought he would've told you. I had never seen someone so scared. He looked like he was about to piss his pants."

"What did you do to him?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." He said innocently.

"I will just have to ask him one of these days." He didn't falter in the slightest. "No wonder I hate doctors. You guys never give anything away." I pouted at him. He only laughed in earnest.

We stayed outside for a bit longer until I decided to relieve my mother of Pumpkin duty.

"Don't forget your mother and I are always here for you." He reminded me.

"I know." I smiled at him before heading home.

EPOV

I watched her leave with a melancholic ache in my heart. I lied to her. Kate was the kids' babysitter. I was going out with a few buddies of mine for the first time since the split.

Kate was a twenty year old girl working on her teaching degree at the University of Illinois-Chicago. Rosalie had mentioned her a few months ago when I was a crunch to find a babysitter. I needed a break from being daddy all the time.

What I didn't expect was to see Bella in my building. There was something different about her compared to the last time we had met. She seemed more despondent. Yet, there seemed to be a glow that radiated from her. It left me curious about the news she had to give to me. Before that could happen, we got into an argument as usual.

It pleased me somewhat to see her so jealous of Kate. She should know by now that no one could ever compare to her. She was it for me. From the moment she stormed off to another seat in biology, I was a goner. She was my light in the darkness. She came shooting across my sky, and nothing had been the same ever since. The last few years since we had children had definitely changed us. We lost the thing that made us, us.

She became too involved with her work, trying to make partner. I was stuck at home with kids 24/7. I love my children dearly, but sometimes a man needs a break. Unfortunately without Bella around, it was hard to go anywhere. Posy barely knew her mother, and Liam had vague memories of his mother tucking him into bed after telling him a bedtime story.

I missed her every day, and seeing her tonight only intensified the feelings I had for her. I couldn't live without her, but I wasn't so sure she felt the same way. Obviously, she felt a flare of jealousy when I mentioned that there was a possibility I had a girlfriend. Too bad she forgot the day when I told her she had basically ruined me for any other woman.

_Winter 1998_

_We were walking through Lincoln Park when I realized that I was in love with her. Everything about her entranced me. Her cheeks were rosy from the cold weather. Flakes of snow were caught in her long eyelashes. Her hair was like a golden halo. Although, she told me she hated her hair color. She said she considered dyeing it darker. _

_"I love you." I blurted out. I hadn't meant to do that, but it was too late now. _

_Her eyes snapped to mine. My heart pounded erratically in my chest as I waited for her to respond. I was getting more nervous by the second because she was only staring at me. _

_But then a smile slowly formed on her lips. "I love you too." She said sincerely. "I think I've loved you since that second day." She laughed. _

_"I think I fell in love with you the moment you said 'this is my seat'. I thought this girl has got some nerve." She shyly ducked her head._

_She glanced up at me from under her eyelashes. "I was being kind of a bitch, wasn't I?"_

_"I didn't mind. I thought you were sexy." She blushed a deep red that I would just attribute to the weather to keep her from feeling more embarrassed. "You lit up my sky with your sassy attitude. I never thought someone would fall in love with me. The girls at my old school never took notice of me."_

_She stopped, placing both of her hands on my face. "Well Mr. Masen that's because they were idiots. I'm glad that they didn't. Otherwise we might not be together now. I love you, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. If anything I don't know what you see in me."_

_Now it was my turn to cup her face. "Isabella Rosemarie Cullen, you are the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on." She scoffed. "Enough of that, you are. I don't need some big breasted model to make me happy, or some popular cheerleader. All I need is you, now and forever. There will ever be another girl who will ever make me feel even a fraction of what I feel for you. Do you understand?" I asked her, gently wiping away some stray tears with my thumb. _

_She nodded. I leaned to softly caress her lips with my own. The kiss may have been chaste, but it was promise of forever. Because I knew I would love Isabella Cullen forever. _

Back upstairs Kate is playing a game with the kids. "Okay well I am about to head out now." I told the kids. Even though I was slightly tired from my confrontation with Bella, I needed this night. The kids got up and knocked me to the floor.

I hugged them before planting a kiss on both of their foreheads. My heart constricted at looking at my little Posy. She was already the spitting image of her mother, and even Liam had a lot of his mother in him. Sometimes, I wondered where all my DNA went in my two children. Liam had my eyes and hair, but the rest of him was all his mother. "I'll be back in a few hours. Be good for Kate."

They nodded, but I could tell they weren't happy about it. They had run off more than their fair share of babysitters. They weren't happy about the divorce, not one bit. They missed their mother. They had told me how Bella was always around when they went home, and how she always took them out to do fun things together like go to the zoo. I didn't know what to make of it. I wanted to pick up the phone and call her especially after that night we had together.

I was scared though. I didn't want to have the conversation of what it meant or what it didn't mean. I didn't want her to tell me that it meant nothing. It meant something to me. I had to leave in the middle of the night because Posy was sick. However, when I never heard back from Bella, and Rosalie dropped off the kids, the message became pretty clear. That night meant nothing to her.

By the time I arrived at the bar, both Jasper and Emmett were there. Ben and Eric had arrived as well. I know it is kind of weird to hang out with your ex-wife's brother and brother-in-law, but we had become friends over the years. Granted Jasper hadn't been too pleased with how I had trashed his sister in court. He punched me in the face for all the shit my lawyer brought up. He was protective of his youngest sister and hated to see her hurt.

He and Emmett were in deep conversation when I arrived. I decided not to alert them to my presence. "Nah, man she still refuses to leave the house except to go to work."

"Rosie said she's still not answering her phone calls. When I saw her last week in the city, she looked horrible."

"Dad keeps trying to talk her round. She says she's got plans every Sunday night to get out of dinner. However, when I go to her place the lights are always on. She's even got herself a dog. Doesn't like anyone but her." What the fuck is Jasper talking about? Bella always said no when the kids asked if we could get a dog.

"Oh yeah, I have seen her walking it. Rosalie said she named him Pumpkin. Your sister is fucked up. Who names a German Shepherd Pumpkin?" Jasper shrugged his shoulders. I decided to clear my throat, feeling that I've eavesdropped enough for one night.

They turned around with surprise written all over their faces. "Hey man," Jasper greets me. I slide into the booth next to Jasper. "You uh, didn't happen to hear any of that did you?" We never mention his sister. It's topic that has been deemed forbidden.

I lower my eyes. "A little, I never saw her as the dog type."

"Yeah, she got herself an evil little fucker. He almost took a chunk out of my balls the last time I took my kids to visit her." Jasper whined. "He loves my kids, but he's got it out for me. He doesn't like when males get to close to her. I was with her when she walked him once, and a few guys attempted to approach. He didn't take to kindly to that, and scared them off." He shook his head. I growled, luckily neither of them heard me over the noise in the bar.

I didn't like the idea of other guys sniffing around her. "Yeah, well if they can't handle a dog they would never make it through a dinner with your dad."

Jasper cackled like the fucker he is. He still thought it was funny how I almost pissed my pants when I first met Carlisle. He may not look like it under his good doctor façade, but he was one intimidating bastard. I had stayed as far as possible from him after the separation. Jasper told me he wasn't too happy with me.

We enjoyed a couple of beers and chatted like old times. Some the topic of Bella kept cropping back up. Jasper had received a picture from his mother. He showed it to all of us, and I was taken aback by the dog. "That's Pumpkin." Jasper informed me. "Bella tried to tell me how sweet he was, but my sister… I don't know I think she's lost her damn mind. My mother has apparently lost hers as well." I chortled because it was pretty funny. Of course, I was little worried myself. They did use German Shepherds for military and police purposes.

Around eleven we called it a night. However, I didn't direct the cab driver back to my apartment. I had to see Bella. I needed to fix this mess.

* * *

**A/N- Edward only said that because he didn't exactly like her being jealous. Yeah, in a way it thrilled him, but he was also pissed that she felt entitled to feel that way. Don't worry, he's going to find out about the baby pretty soon. Who doesn't love Daddy Carlisle? Like I said their lack of communication skills was their ultimate downfall. If I decide not to post tomorrow, then for all those who celebrate Easter, HAPPY EASTER. If you don't, well have a great weekend anyways.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N- Well the people have spoken and they want another chapter. I honestly never expected for this story to be as liked as it is. I had an idea one day, and decided why not. Anyways, this is where we finally get to hear them talk, like really talk.**

* * *

_And I will swallow my pride  
You're the one that I love_

I arrived home to find my mother passed on the couch with Pumpkin cuddled up next to her. It was too great of a picture opportunity to pass us. My mother possessed all these embarrassing photos of my childhood, while I didn't have a single one of her to hold over her head. She was the disciplinarian in our home growing up. My father was a sucker for the batting of eyelashes, a couple of butterfly kisses, and pulling out the Daddy card.

My mother was the one you couldn't crack. We tried, lord knows we tried. She was a tough cookie, but her asleep with my dog next to her… priceless. Once I made sure to snap a picture, I sent it to my sister. Jasper was able to get away with things because he was mama's baby boy. Cue rolling of the eyes. Rosie and I used everything we could to get a fair punishment.

I nudged my mother until her eyes fluttered open. For a moment, confusion took over until she noticed me next to her. "Oh sweetheart, I guess I must've fallen asleep." She sat up, and so did Pumpkin. "How did it go?" I didn't answer, instead I chose to stare at my shoes. "You did tell him, didn't you?" She gently probed, trying not to push me.

The tips of her fingertips grabbed ahold of my face, forcing me to look at her. "Have you been crying?"

I sighed, knowing there was no way to get out of this interrogation. "I did go see him." She raised her eyebrows. "However, we ended up arguing as usual. I left with an unspoken promise to call him sometime this week to meet and talk."

She didn't seem fully satisfied with my answer. "That doesn't explain where you've been for the…" she glanced down at her watch. Her eyes widened when she noticed how much time had passed. "Where the hell have you been for the last five hours?"

"Okay mom that tells me you probably fell asleep not too long after I left if you are surprised by the time."

"Stop avoiding the question Isabella." I huffed because she could never let me hedge my way around.

I ran a hand through my hair. "Fine, I went to see dad. We talked. He called me out on my shit, but he reminded me that communication was a two way street. Somewhere along the way, Edward and I were no long us. He was Edward and I was Bella. There was no Edward and Bella because we killed our own love story."

"Honey, I don't want you to think that I ever blamed you a hundred percent for what happened to your marriage. You both messed up big time. I only want you to be happy." She kissed my head. "Now I'm going to go be happy." Years of therapy will never get rid of the images planted in my brain.

I shuddered. "Aren't you a little too old for that?"

She smirked at me. "Sweetie, what did you think we did once you kids moved out of the house? There are three of you."

I threw a pillow at her. "Gross mom, I already had to suppress the image of you and dad in the kitchen. I don't need to know you still do it. I don't have a sex life, and hearing that my parents have one doesn't make me feel better. Nor does it really make me want to have one now. Go please."

"I love you baby."

"I love you too mom." I heard her shut the door when she left. God that is so sick. Parents should not be allowed to do that after a certain age.

I settled into the sofa and turned on the television. I hadn't realized how pathetic my life had become. I don't know when I fell asleep, but I was glad when it happened. This horrific day needed to be over. My dreams were filled with Edward.

_Spring 1999_

_Junior Prom_

_I agreed to go to prom with him. I wore a dark blue dress with a sweetheart neckline and lots of tulle for the skirt. I wore three inch heels that still didn't make me anywhere near as tall as Edward. _

_When I was saw Edward in his suit, I was filled with lust. He was already desirable to me in so many ways, but I had never seen him in a suit before. His hair was in its usual disarray. He had gone to see a dermatologist who gave him some stuff for his acne. His face had cleared up, and he came became the man he was on the inside on the outside. I didn't care either way because he was still mine. We had been dating for over a year now, which still made me giggle sometimes. _

_I was lost in my thoughts that I didn't even realize two arms had wrapped around my waist. "What's got you thinking so hard love?" He said against the skin of my neck. He kept trailing little kisses along my collarbone, distracting me._

"_Huh?" I asked. I was confused. I was drowning in him. _

"_I said what has got my girl so distracted?"_

"_Your girl, hmm… well you." I replied. I was almost always thinking about him. This wasn't some school girl infatuation, it was love._

_I turned myself in his arms, and gently looped my arms around his neck. I laid my head on his chest as a slow song started playing. He laid his head on top of mine as we swayed to the music. "I love you." He said into my hair. I snuggled into his chest. _

"_I think I love you more."_

"_Not possible," I could feel him smiling into my hair. _

_I rolled my eyes. "Edward, do you think it will always be like this?" I was scared. We were juniors, and we only had a year left of high school. Edward was considering some out of state schools because of baseball. _

_I was staying in-state. I was considering either The University of Illinois at Chicago or Northwestern. I liked both schools, and I could live at home. However, Edward was on the fence about playing baseball. He didn't want to make a career out of it, and didn't really need the scholarship like others. _

_He didn't answer me immediately, and I thought he chose to ignore the question. "I think so. I know I want to spend every day of the rest of my life with you. I couldn't imagine a day where I wouldn't be able to see you smile or hear your laugh. I would do anything to make sure that we get to stay happy. My future is with you." I sniffled because that was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me. _

"_I want that too. I want you to know that no matter how much times passes I will always love you. I find myself loving you more the next day than the day before. You make my life so much better. You bring color where once it was only black and white. You bring the sun when it's raining. There isn't a day that goes by that I'm glad you chose my seat to sit in." We continued to dance together. I loved the feel of his arms around me. _

EPOV

I was here. The lights weren't on, but there was flashing light coming from the living room. She was watching television, which was very uncharacteristic of her. I wondered what else had changed about her since the separation. I mustered up the courage to knock after five minutes of pacing in the driveway like a crazy person. I was glad it was dark out so the neighbors couldn't see me.

I was anxious. I didn't know what kind of reception I would get for showing up. Earlier tonight didn't exactly go well. I knocked on the door, but there was no movement from the living room. That was odd. I started to panic thinking something may have happened to her. I used my key to get in. She never asked for it back. I thought I would keep it for emergencies. _Liar…_

She was passed out on the couch in the living room. However, she wasn't alone. Beside her was an angry looking dog. I gulped because this must've been the dog Jasper bitched about earlier. "Good Pumpkin, nice Pumpkin." I was trying to keep him from biting off my balls.

Pumpkin decided I must be a threat, and started growling at me. Shit, this wasn't good. He then started barking causing Bella to wake up. Unfortunately, she wasn't fast enough in realizing that Pumpkin saw an intruder. He went after me, and I did my best to run away. He was a scary little fucker. Only Bella would name a vicious canine something sweet like Pumpkin. Emmett was right when he said she was crazy. Bella managed to grab him by the collar, although he was still growling at me.

"Bad boy, you do not attack." I found it funny how Bella was chastising the dog. She grabbed him by the collar, and dragged him to the back. When she came back in she was a bit weary at seeing me there. "Is there something you needed? Did one of the kids leave something they wanted?"

I took a step closer to her. She watched me with cautious eyes. "Yes, there is something I needed."

She bit her lip. She knew what that did to me. I really needed to learn how to control that particular reaction. "What is it Edward?" Her voice was a bit shaky.

"You." Her eyes widened to the size of saucers.

"Wh-what? I don't understand." She genuinely looked confused.

"Bella, what have I been telling you for over fifteen years?"

"You'll love me forever. There's no one else but me." At least that didn't get lost in translation.

I took another step closer. "Love, that's still true. I will never find anyone as beautiful as you." She may have changed a bit since we first met, but it was still her. I found everything about her beautiful. She had dyed her hair once she turned eighteen because her parents refused to indulge her. It was funny though when she was pregnant, and couldn't dye her roots. By the time the ninth months were over, there was a lot of blonde.

As soon as she could she would dye it brown again. I didn't care either way. Even pregnancy had changed her body. She had gone from being skinny to having curves. I loved it. She complained that she was fat, but I made sure to tell and show her how much I loved every inch of her body. I loved her laugh. Sometimes she snorted, which was adorable. Her smile could light up an entire room, and she had one special just for me.

She scoffed at me. "Funny, you could've fooled me." She muttered. I knew what the real problem was.

"Kate is the babysitter I hired for the kids." She searched my eyes, and whatever she saw there made her relax a little.

She crossed her arms in a move that was so reminiscent of teenage Bella. "Doesn't explain why you left after that night."

"Posy was sick. She was throwing up all over the place, and the babysitter at the time didn't know how to handle it. I left you a note."

"I didn't get a note." She sniffed audibly. Sometimes I enjoyed when she acted like the prissy girl I first met.

"Well I left one." I sniped. I hated that she was doubting me. There was a point where we took everything at face value.

"What did this note say?" There was a lilt of curiosity in her voice. I knew I was slowly knocking down her walls.

"My dearest Bella," I winked at her. "I cannot tell you how much this night meant to me. I wish I could stay and hold you in my arms because this is where I belong. I want to work this out because I love you more today than I did yesterday, and not a day goes by where I don't think about you. I know we have our problems, but in the end what does it matter. I will never find someone who completes me like you do." She was crying, and I knew after years of studying her emotions they were the good kind.

"You complete me too Edward Masen. I may not have shown it these last few years, but I am still very much in love with you. That night gave me something I didn't even realize I was missing. Well a few things actually," she said through her tears.

I cocked my head to the side. I took a few more steps until she was within touching distance. "You gave me you. I was wrapped up in becoming partner that I missed what was right in front of me. It wasn't until you were gone, and I was here all alone that I understood my actions. I pushed you away because I kept chasing what I didn't have. But what I did have was something even more amazing."

I couldn't stop myself even if I tried from pulling her to me and crushing my lips to hers. It was like a thousand hellos and apologies all rolled into one.

_I am sorry for hurting you_

_I shouldn't have moved out_

_It's my fault_

_I should have fought for you_

_I love you so much_

_I love you more than I can say_

Her lips were just as soft as I remembered as our mouths moved together. I swallowed her moans and groans as our tongues collided. This was us at the core of everything. We were Edward and Bella. There was no separating the two from the day we met. I don't know how either of us thought we could. My hands trailed down her body to rest on her hips.

Her hands as usual were in my hair, not that I cared. We pulled away breathless. I trailed little kisses along her collarbone as she tried to catch her breath. "Oh Edward, I'm sorry for making you feel like you had no choice but to move out." I knew not to interrupt her. She needed to say this. I led her to the couch, and she attempted to sit on the other end. That wasn't going to work for me. I picked her up and sat her on my lap.

She snuggled close like always. I had forgotten how our bodies fit together. "Sometimes when you're doing something you don't realize you're doing it. I remember when we were talking about having children. We both swore that we would try to be as hands on as possible. When Liam was born I don't think I had ever been happier in my entire life."

I remember the day like it was yesterday.

_April 2007_

_It was a never ending night. Bella had gone through twenty hours of labor before our son decided to make his appearance in the world. I was scared of my wife. I seriously thought she was going to break my hand. _

_I hated myself for causing her so much pain. Once Liam was born though, she seemed to forget about it as soon as she fed him the first time. I volunteered to go tell our family of its' newest member. They were all excited and tired. I could tell her father was the most anxious; he glared at me a few times until his wife noticed. _

_Carlisle and I never really hit it off, and I didn't think we ever would. "Well, you all have a grandson and nephew to spoil." I announced. They rejoiced. They were tears from all the females. I think I saw Carlisle shed a few; I decided not to call him it on it. "His name is Liam Carlisle Masen." I had never seen Carlisle so happy before. He hugged his wife._

"_When can we see him?" "Who does he look like?" "How much does he weigh?" "Were there any complications?" I was assaulted with a barrage of questions._

"_You guys can see him soon. The doctor said only a couple of people in the room at a time. I think he looks like Bella. He was seven pounds, and it was a perfect birth." Everyone seemed to relax after that. _

_It seemed to be the consensus to allow her parents to see her first. I led Carlisle and Esme back to Bella's room. They were both nervous that much I could tell. Though Liam wasn't their first grandchild, Bella was their youngest. _

_Bella had finished nursing by the time I arrived with her parents. She was just holding him in her arms, tracing his face with her finger. I went over and gave them each a kiss before leaving her with her parents. I had never felt so much love in my entire life. It was seeping out of me. If anything this made me love Bella even more. She had all this strength, and I couldn't be prouder of her. _

"He was this little baby that depended on us for everything. I think my favorite moments with him were when I could watch him sleep. His little chest would rise and fall, and it seemed like he didn't have a care in the world. Sometimes when you were out of town, I would bring him in the bed with me. We would snuggle together. I was there for his first smile, laugh, crawl, steps. Hell, I was his first word. I didn't think I could love him more until he called me mama the first time." There was a sadness etched into her pretty face.

I wrapped my arms around her. "What's wrong sweetheart?"

She sniffled. "All that changed by the time Posy was born. I was a workaholic. We almost lost her because of all the stress. I was confined to bed rest during the last two months with her. I was terrified we were going to lose her. It would have been my fault."

We never talked about this before. I didn't know she had felt this way. I let her keep talking. "Posy was only seven and a half months pregnant when she was born. She barely weighed five pounds. 5he had some breathing problems and jaundice. I shouldn't have worked as hard as I did with her. I love her. It wasn't that I didn't want her, it was that I thought she was interfering with what I wanted for myself. Yet, when we almost lost her I had a change of heart. I promised myself that I would be there for her whenever she needed me."

Oh… she was upset because Posy wasn't exactly her biggest fan at the moment. "I wasn't there for all of her firsts like I was for Liam. Sure I heard her giggle for the first time. I fed her, her first solid foods. I held her for the first time. I couldn't believe I had given birth to the most perfect little being. I did see her first recital, well the first half anyways." She felt shame.

"Baby, how come you never told me you felt this way?"

She turned in my arms. "What was I supposed to say Edward? I was insecure after we had Posy. I didn't think you would want me anymore after having two children. I thought so many things."

I grabbed her face. "I don't know what kind of fantasy land you are living in, but I don't think I could ever imagine the day where I didn't want you. Okay yeah Posy doesn't always like you, but she loves you. Trust me I would know. She always gets mad at me when I do her hair wrong. She says 'that's not how mommy does it'." I mimicked in a five year old voice.

Bella giggled at me. "She is picky about her hair Edward. She hates when it is in her face. She prefers braids."

I kissed her baby soft cheek. "See look at that, you know something about Posy."

"I guess I do."

"Now you mentioned that I gave you something else that night."

Her back stiffened, and I wasn't sure I was going to like what she had to say. "Promise you won't get mad?" I could hear the worry in her voice.

"Just tell me."

"I'm pregnant."

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**A/N- Haha, I know I am one cliffy bitch. You can guys can bitch at me all you want in the reviews. Anyways have a great weekend, and see you Monday. HAPPY EASTER!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N- Okay so I won't be posting until Friday because I have exams this weeks, not fun. However, if I want to go home next week, I sort of got to take them. Anyways, I know a lot of you are anticipating this next chapter. Just because they have talked a little, doesn't mean things are magically fixed. And to the person who says they are immature and aren't thinking in the best interests of their children, maybe you should meet my parents. They are the perfect example of immature divorcees who don't consider their children.**

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There I said it. I told him the truth. When I awoke suddenly to Pumpkin barking the last thing I had expected to see was Edward in my living room. I had rubbed my eyes for good measure to make sure it was him cause let's be honest, our last meeting ended terribly.

I was too focused on rubbing the sleep out of my eyes to notice that Pumpkin was in attack mode. I was a bit disoriented as well. He started chasing Edward, and before his chompers got too close to the promise land I grabbed him. I scolded him; I made him go out back to cool down. He always tried to protect me from males for some odd reason. Sometimes he was a lifesaver, but others it wasn't exactly great. Pumpkin scared the shit out of Jasper the first time he met him. Jasper was still terrified of coming over here. Emmett didn't even attempt to visit after Jasper warned him about B's new beast.

Hearing Edward tell me he still loved me was something I never imagined would happen. I thought I would never be happy again after knowing he had someone else. I was a little peeved he had kind of led me to believe that Kate was girlfriend. I was glad to know she was nothing but the babysitter.

Edward hadn't spoken a word since I told him about our newest child. He stared off into space, and I was worried. If he didn't want this child, well obviously we were going to have some problems. I maneuvered myself off his lap causing him to snap out of his trance.

"Where do you think you're going?" He growled at me before pulling me back to him.

"I don't know," I sobbed. "I thought you were upset with me."

"Why would I be upset knowing that the only woman I have ever been in love with is having my child?" Well when he put it like that, it was kind of silly of me to think that he wouldn't want this child. A man like Edward deserved to have a lot of children. "What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?" He tucked my head underneath his chin. I sighed. I missed this. I loved this man more than anything.

I fiddled a loose thread on my shirt. "You know I am always thinking about you." I teased.

He let out a laugh. "I'm glad some things haven't changed. By the way, since when do you watch television?"

I shrugged. "Well, I didn't have anything else to occupy my time at night. Did you know there are a lot of shows about doctors, lawyers, and cops?"

He chuckled, but I knew he wasn't laughing at me. He was laughing with me. "Yes love, everyone knows that. So…"

"So…" I said back.

"When did you find out you were pregnant?" I was waiting for when he would bring it up.

"Today." I answered.

He was silent. I let him process that. "Really?" He asked.

I nodded though it was a little hard with my head tucked into him. "Yeah, I had noticed that I had a few symptoms. At first I had only attributed it to stress. I know I hadn't skipped often since I was a teen, but stress can cause you to miss a few periods. I was a little tired. Sometimes I threw up, but it wasn't consistent. I didn't realize I had skipped three months. These last few months have been hard." I admitted.

His arms tightened around me. "I am here now. I'm never letting you push me away. We are going to fix this because I cannot imagine another day of my life without you. I have never lied to you, and I promise I won't. I love you so much, and sometimes it's hard to believe that you are really mine."

"I think I am the lucky one. I'm glad I haven't driven you completely away. I think I am going to quit my job though."

He pulled me back. His eyes searched mine. "I thought you loved your job."

"I did. However, there are more important things than my job. There's you for one. Our kids need me. Maybe in a few years when the kids are older I will go back to work, but for now I think I need a break. I want to spend time with my family. You never know when your last day will be. I don't want to have any more regrets."

"If you are sure that's what you want, I will support you." I pressed my lips to his. I didn't let us get carried away like before though. We had a long way before we would be ready to have sex.

I just snuggled up closer to him. My eyelids started drooping as the day caught up with me. I tried to fight it off. "Go to sleep love," he whispered softly to me. I complied.

EPOV

I never thought in a million years that what she had to tell me was that she was pregnant. It was fine with me that we had two kids. If any more children were to come, I would welcome them. Knowing that Bella was pregnant once again with my child was the best news I could have ever received. Maybe it wasn't under the greatest of circumstances, but I didn't care. I had her.

That also explained the glow about her earlier. She was radiant. Having her sleep in my arms was a dream. She snored softly. I always teased her about her snore. She would just roll her pretty little blue eyes at me. She would say ladies don't snore, and I would call her out on her shit. "Edward," she said in her sleep. "Don't leave me, please don't leave me."

"Never love, I am here to stay as long as you will have me." She seemed to relax after that. She murmured my name a few more times. I decided to carry her up to bed. She was exhausted, and who wouldn't be in her condition. I pulled back the covers, and gently laid her on the bed. She wouldn't let go of me.

"Please stay with me, please." She cried out in distress. What had I done to her? "Pease don't leave me."

"I will be back." I promised her. "I'm not leaving." I pried her hands away. I had to relieve Kate from babysitting. I kissed her head, whispering sweet nothings in her ear. She smiled in her sleep.

I decided to use her car instead of calling for a cab at this late hour. Her keys were where she always left them, on the kitchen counter. The day I met her I realized she had a knack for losing things. She 'misplaced' the phone in her bedroom so when I attempted to call her, she didn't answer. She was too busy searching under all of her clothes for the phone. She kept her keys on the counter because at least she would be able to find it the next day.

I thought about her the entire drive back to the apartment. She was different. Once upon a time ago I would've thought it difficult for her to quit her job, but now I had seen how I hurt her. My leaving made her doubt herself, and rethink her entire life. While I had to take care of two children, she had massive amounts of time to process everything. If there was one thing I knew about her, it was that she liked to process. She hated having to make snap decisions because she wanted to think about it from every angle. Sometimes I would leave her alone if I knew that she just needed time to think. I understood that about her.

The house seemed empty and lonely. It was clean, something I was unaccustomed to seeing. I hadn't been back there since that night. I also hadn't paid much attention to my surroundings as I was drunk. It wasn't an alcoholic kind of drunk; I was drunk on her. She was the same but different. The children had mentioned things over those last months before the divorce about their mother.

Posy said she helped with homework. She was always home for snuggles and kisses at bedtime. She even told all these cool stories. She tucked them in, and sometimes let them come into the bed with her. I found that hard to believe. However, Posy wasn't always overly fond of her mother, and if she was saying this I knew it to be true.

Liam said she took him to the park to practice soccer. I had forgotten that she used to play soccer when she was younger. He said she always cried when it was time for them to leave with their aunt. He didn't enjoy seeing his mother cry, and often blamed that on me. Posy seemed affected by her mother as well. She would talk to her on the phone a couple of times a week. I knew that getting a divorce was the worst thing we could have ever done. She cited irreconcilable differences, and she was right. We couldn't agree on anything. There was a problem though, and that was we didn't think of all the long term effects of our decision. We both thought we were giving the other what they wanted, which is why neither of us contested it.

I opened up the door of the apartment to find Kate passed out on the couch. I rolled my eyes. She always was asleep when I came back. I shook her awake and sent her home. She was an okay babysitter once I set some boundaries. She had a tendency not to mind personal space, and had hit on me a few times. She was pretty, I suppose, but she was far too young for me. I went to Posy's room first to find her fast asleep. I hated disturbing her sleep, but it needed to be done. I slowly pulled back her covers, and picked her up in my arms.

She woke up. "Daddy, where we going?" She asked sleepily.

"Mommy, now go back to sleep."

"Mommy," she sighed as her eyes fluttered close. Liam was still awake, and it wasn't too hard to get him to come along. I didn't tell him where we were going, only that it was a surprise.

As soon as he saw the familiar street, he began bouncing with excitement. He kept quiet so that he wouldn't wake up his sister, but I knew that he missed his house. He had lived here his entire life. He was out of the car as soon as I parked. I grabbed Posy from the backseat. She made a little noise of protest, but then snuggled in to me. I wondered where she got that from.

I carried her upstairs to her mother's room. I laid her on the bed next to Bella, and the two seemed to gravitate towards each other. Somehow Posy ended up with half of her body draped across Bella's torso. Bella held her tightly to her body.

I went to find Liam. I checked his room, but he was nowhere in sight. I figured out where he would've gone once he saw the dog bowl. Out back Liam was petting the little demon dog.

"Who is a good boy?" He scratched the top of the demon's head. He glanced up when he saw me. "Did you know mommy got a dog?" He asked excitedly. I groaned because now there was no way to get rid of the little monster. "I like him dad." I rolled my eyes because of course he did. My kids were crazy just like their mother. "His name is Pumpkin." He crinkled his nose.

"Yes, well your mother put HIM," I pointed at the dog. "Out here for a reason." Liam sighed, but gave the dog one more scratch.

"I will be back in the morning." He told the dog. He then went to his bedroom, and I went to the guestroom. We may have talked some things out, but we weren't ready to share a bed.

BPOV

I was hot and I had to pee. There was also a body draped across the upper half of my body. However, it was too small to be Edward's. When I cracked my eyes open, I saw my baby girl. Posy was actually here in bed with me. A content smile was plastered on her tiny face. Her blonde curls were a frizzy mess as usual.

I planted a kiss on her forehead. I had missed her. I slid her off of me, and she snuggled into the spot I left. I went into the bathroom to take care of my needs. I held my breath, hoping that it wasn't a dream and my daughter really was there. I opened the door, and she was still there.

I decided to check Liam's bedroom. He was fast asleep. I kissed his face. He was growing up faster than I'd like. I went to leave when he called to me. "Mommy?"

"Yeah baby?" I asked him as I kneeled beside his bed.

"I love you."

"I love you too." He placed a warm hand on my face.

"I missed you lots. You promise you won't go away again." His watery green eyes had me promising I wouldn't. I kissed his hand, and he drifted off back to sleep.

I went back to Posy. I climbed in behind her and curled my body around hers. She tucked her little head beneath my chin.

I held her warm body as she slept peacefully. She only slept another half an hour. The girl never slept past eight on the weekends.

One blue eye followed by the other popped open. She stared confusedly at her surroundings before turning to me. Her eyes lit up with happiness at the sight of me. My heart warmed with the knowledge she wasn't still mad at me.

"Mommy!" She squealed excitedly. She wrapped her arms around me. "Mommy, I'm sorry for what I said. I don't hate you. I love you so, so, so much." She said in a way that only a five year old could.

"I know you didn't. It still hurt mommy's feelings though."

Her face fell. "I didn't mean to hurt them. Are you better now?"

I laughed. "I am now that my little lovebug is here." I began tickling her causing her to giggle. She attempted to return the favor, but she was too busy laughing. Liam came in, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.

"What's goin' on?" He asked groggily.

"Mommy's a tickle monster."

A wicked grin came across my face. "Yes I am. Do you know what that means Liam?"

His eyes widened as he took off down the hallway, "Come on Posy we have to get your brother." We ran down the stairs to find him. There weren't too many places he could hide. I checked the coat closet and the pantry.

"Mommy I finded him. He's behind the couch." Posy yelled out to me.

We closed in on him and attacked. I missed their giggles. They were always silly, and they made me silly. We laid spent on the living room floor ten minutes later. "What do you kids want for breakfast?"

"Chocolate chip waffles." They said in unison. I smiled inwardly. Edward couldn't cook to save his life. He had the basics, but as far as breakfast went, he could barely fry an egg.

"Who wants to help?" Both of them offered, and I ushered them into the kitchen. I tied an apron around both of them. If there was a possibility for a mess, kids knew how to make one. Everything was made from scratch, and we even added extra chocolate chips. I let them take turns filling the waffle iron. Edward came down as we were setting up the table. His eyes never left my face. I found myself flushing.

"Daddy look," Posy dragged his attention away from me. "We made waffles with extra chocolate chips. How come you can't do that?" I snorted causing Edward to frown at me.

"Well, I am just not at that level yet." He said snottily.

I full out laughed. "Daddy is lying honey. He can't cook to save his life. He once almost burned down this kitchen trying to make dinner for mommy." Posy and Liam laughed at their father's expense.

"Now mommy that isn't very fair." I quirked a brow at him. "You can't point out something I am bad at, and not something you're bad at as well."

"Mommy is great at everything." I replied smugly. He knew by the look in my eyes that I was only teasing him.

"Daddy is great at things too. He is a DILF as some of the other moms in the carpool have mentioned." Now it was my turn to frown.

I was seething. "Who exactly said this? I want to kick their as-" I was cut off by Edward's lips on my own. I moaned in his mouth before pushing him away. The children were sitting at the table watching expectantly. We hadn't exactly defined what we were except that we were the love of each other's lives. I suppose that in itself meant a lot but still. I didn't want to confuse the children.

However, both of our children were disgusted. "Ew, that's nasty daddy."

"Yeah dad please don't do that again." I emitted a giggle at the affronted look on Edward's face.

"Both of you are going to be grown up one day. You're going to want to kiss too. Posy you can't kiss until you're thirty though." I slapped his chest. "Twenty-five." He smirked at me.

"Don't listen to daddy, he doesn't know anything. You can kiss boys way before twenty-five. He thinks he's funny."

"But mommy Papa said I couldn't kiss boys either, and he's a doctor." I rolled my eyes. That sounded exactly like something my father would say. "Boys have cooties anyways. Papa says it cotagous." I choked back a laugh at her mispronunciation. It seemed Edward had no such qualms as he chuckled merrily at our daughter.

Oh to be young and innocent again. I sent the kids upstairs to get dressed after breakfast. "Edward, I think we should go to counseling."

He grabbed my hand, bringing it to his lips. "I was going to suggest the same thing. I want my wife back, but I don't want things to go back to the way they were."

"Neither do I, I want us to work. We should probably tell the kids about the baby. Liam didn't like the idea of Posy. Remember he tried to get us to exchange her for a little brother. Posy will want a baby sister."

"Yes, that sounds very Posyesque." He leaned forward to place a chaste kiss on my lips.

"Mommy," Posy said, stomping down the stairs in the process. "Do you really have a doggy?"

"Yes, we do. His name is Pumpkin. He's the sweetest thing." Edward tried to hide his laugh by coughing. I glared at him.

"Can I see him?" She jutted out her bottom lip.

I kissed her head. "Sure sweetheart, he's in the back." She tied her shoes, and was out the door.

"That dog is a menace." I rolled my eyes at him. "Don't roll your pretty eyes at me that dog almost killed me last night."

"Stop being such a girl. I don't see your daughter afraid of sweet Pumpkin."

"Your children don't seem to fear things as they should."

I placed a hand on my hip. "Oh so now they're my children," I smiled.

"Yes."

"Oh whatever, you're being a sissy like Jasper."

"Jasper had an actual concern for his manly parts. I'm sorry to say sweetheart, but you've been pretty fond of that area for almost sixteen years." I blushed, but I couldn't deny it.

"Jackass."

"You love me for it."

I couldn't help the grin that formed on my face. "Yeah I do. Now help me finish cleaning."

"Yes mu'am," he mocked saluted.

"Idiot," I muttered under my breath.

"Only for you." I swear I was sixteen again with how much I was rolling my eyes.

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**A/N- it was smart of Bella to stop that kiss. They don't need their kids getting confused. But there was definitely lots of flirting and fluff. We also finally met Posy and Liam. Gosh, I can't wait until I have kids. Well I can cause I am totally not ready for that yet. Next chapter will see them in therapy and their first ultrasound. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N- I decided to post this a little early since I do have an exam on Friday. This chapter was a bit difficult for me to write. Mostly because it is just a filler chapter. There are a few things that happen like finding out the gender and other little surprises, and of course there is a counseling sessions. Other than that nothing else really happens except a bunch of fluff. Thanks to those who wished me good luck on my exams. Sorry if there are mistakes; this isn't beta'd. **

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_Resolutions and lovers in the kitchen  
Love is clueless and destiny is wishing  
This is my heart, it's on the line, Selene_

_Selene- Imagine Dragons_

Everyone talks about counseling when the going gets tough. Yet, they forget to mention how difficult counseling really is. This is our third session, and we've still made very little progress. Although, I think our therapist is a quack.

"May I give you guys some advice?" Lauren, our therapist offered. I stiffly nodded my head. "Take a deep breath and relax. From what I have observed, you both communicate passive-aggressively. You choose to remain silent or walk away when you feel that the other isn't listening to your needs. You manipulate and play games, but where does that get either of you? Sometimes it can be helpful to go back to the beginning of a relationship. Why don't we talk about how you met?" She suggested.

I gestured for Edward to tell her. He always told the story better anyways. "I had moved here to Chicago from Indianapolis. I liked the view from this particular seat in my biology class. I didn't think of the possibility of it already being taken. So imagine my surprise when this blonde Barbie," I poked my tongue out at him. "Comes up to me telling me that I am sitting in her seat. We bantered a bit before she stalked off to a seat closer to the front of the classroom."

"I will have you know I didn't stalk. I calmly walked to another seat. I was irritated because he stole my seat and wouldn't let me sit there. He claimed it was because of the view, but I think once I asked he just wanted to piss me off. I chose to sit my friend Angela instead, and I kept feeling like someone was watching me. I turned my head to see Edward staring at me. My friend Angela teased me saying that I liked him. I dismissed the idea."

"Funny I remember it a little differently. You stuck your tongue out at me like you did just a few minutes ago. You and Angela giggled like a bunch of lovesick high schoolers. She didn't laugh at my joke either. She was the first one out of the room by the time the bell rung. I had to run to catch up to her. She didn't like me very much until I called her pretty. We flirted, and I tried desperately to get her to tell me her name."

A little smile formed on my face. "Oh I don't know Edward, I still think I got the short end of the stick. I mean I gave you my name and number. I didn't get that much in return."

He scoffed. "I thought you got quite a bit. You got a boyfriend, fiancé, husband, and father of your children. I told you, you would get me."

My face softened. "You did. I gave you my number didn't I? Obviously at the time I didn't think about how much you would come to mean to me. I thought you were cute and funny."

"You told me my jokes were lame."

"I can't let you know everything." I could get lost in his eyes every day.

"See this is what I am talking about. You both remember this one day that brought you together so well. You have the ability to communicate. You haven't used it. When you talk really listen to what the other is saying, don't just fire back with a quick retort. Then give yourself a little bit of time to actually think about what the other person said. Edward, I want you tell Bella something she did that annoyed you."

Edward ran a hand through his hair. That was a move he did only when he was nervous or uncomfortable. I was unsure which one it was at the moment, probably both. "It annoyed me that even when she wasn't working she was working."

"Did you tell Bella this?"

"No." He answered. I frowned.

"Why not?" She was kind of annoying.

"I didn't want to fight. I thought she didn't care." A soft gasp left my lips. He turned his eyes to me. "I should have told you instead of picking fights. I knew how important your job was, but I wanted our family to be just as important to you."

"Bella tell me something about Edward that annoys you?"

I bit my lip. "It annoyed me when he didn't think my job was important."

His eyes widened. "Is that what you thought?" I nodded my head. He scooted closer to me. "Bella I would never presume that your work wasn't important. I remember you telling me that it had been your childhood dream to become a lawyer one day. I would never stand in the way of that happening."

"Do you guys see how not talking about little things like annoyances can affect your relationship? If you can't talk about the little things, then how would you even be able to discuss the big stuff when it comes along?" We both nodded. "Your homework for this week is to work on telling the other person when he or she does something that annoys you. You can't assume that other person knows everything. No one knows everything a person feels. Maybe you guys can come up with techniques that will help each of you from getting annoyed with the other."

Okay so maybe she wasn't that bad. It was a nice idea. We had tiptoed around each for so long in order to prevent hurt feelings. The thing we failed to realize is that we are married adults. If we couldn't talk to each other, then who could we talk to? We thanked Lauren for her time.

"Edward if I am being honest it annoys the hell out of me when you leave your underwear in the bathroom."

"It annoys me when you leave toothpaste in the sink."

This whole communicating thing wasn't too bad. I had no idea that it annoyed Edward when I drove his car. "If you don't like me driving why didn't you say so?"

He sighed. "I don't know. I guess I was afraid that you would get angry at me and think it sexist. It has nothing to do with your gender. Really it's your driving."

"I wish you would have told me that. I hate driving." He grinned at me from the driver's seat. We were on our way to meet with my Ob/Gyn. Dr. Williamson had delivered our first two children. She was a god send. Edward had driven me up all the wall with all of his incessant questions, but Bree took it all in stride. She took the time to answer every single question he asked.

The first appointment was merely to confirm the pregnancy and get me started on pre-natal vitamins. They did a routine check-up. This time around we would actually get to see our baby, and possibly find out the gender. Neither of us had made a concrete decision on whether we wanted to know. I didn't care either way.

We signed in at the desk and waited in the sitting area. "Isabella Masen?" A nurse called. She took my weight. She also took a sample of my blood. Then she asked all the routine questions. "Alright, the doctor will be with you in a few minutes." I smiled kindly at her. Edward on the other hand was a mess. He was nervous.

"Stop," I told him. "I am not at an advanced age yet. We've had two perfectly healthy children, and there is no reason why this one won't be either. Relax, this isn't our first rodeo."

He managed a small smile. "I'm sorry. It's just it took you a lot longer to figure out you were pregnant this time around."

"It's all fine. Dr. Williamson said last time we were here that everything was great." I held out my hand to him, which he took in his much larger one.

Dr. Williamson came in a few minutes later. "Hello Bella, Edward" she greeted us. "So I noticed in your paperwork that you are almost four months pregnant. Are there any concerns, questions?"

Edward and I looked at each other. "None."

"Okay then, we drew your blood as you know so we can do a multiple marker test to determine if there are any birth defects such as spine bifida. The test also looks for markers that help determine whether the baby might have Down syndrome. Now I know you know all this, but it is still my job as your doctor to inform you. Now we can move onto the ultrasound." She put on rubber gloves, and turned towards the machine.

She squeezed some gel onto my body. It was cold, but I already knew that. My belly was bigger compared to my previous pregnancies at this stage. I contributed it to being older. She put the probe over my stomach, and began moving it around.

I could then hear the sound of whooshing. Tears sprung to my eyes at the sound. However, Dr. Williamson frowned at the screen. "Is there something wrong I asked her?"

"No, no I'm just surprised is all. Bella, Edward do you hear the echo after each heartbeat?" We nodded unsure of what was going on. "That's not an echo. It is a second heartbeat."

She couldn't be saying what I think she was. "Are you saying we are having twins?"

"Yes, that is exactly what I am saying."

I could only stare at her because this was the last thing I had expected. I knew I had put on some extra weight, but it never occurred to me I was carrying two little beings. "Are they healthy?" I knew there could be all kinds of complications with carrying twins, and I was worried.

"They are perfectly healthy. They are good size and as far as I can tell there seem to be no abnormalities. Would you like to know the gender?"

"Yes," we answered in unison.

"Congratulations mommy a little boy and little girl." I sighed in relief. Posy wanted a sister, but Liam wanted a brother. This solved both of those problems.

"Now, most women pregnant with twins end up on bed rest towards the end of pregnancy so be prepared for that possibility. More than likely they will be premature so a caesarean will be the best choice. Do not worry, women deliver healthy twins all the time." She wiped off my stomach, and reminded us to schedule our next appointment. Since I was having twins, I would have more appointments.

I was in a daze as I changed back into my clothes. I wasn't having one baby. There were two. I sobbed into my hands at the thought. Edward was alarmed by my reaction.

"Bella, baby what is the matter?"

"We are going to have two babies. We aren't even married." I sniffled.

That sobered him up. "That's semantics. Before this we had been married for twelve years."

"But Edward, how will we take care of two children and two babies? Look at how easily we threw away over ten years of marriage."

"You said you were quitting your job. That means we will both be able to stay at home with the kids. We have our families who will help. Although, I haven't really talked with mine in a while." He raked a hand through his hair. "Bella, we both have acted like idiots for far too long. This is our second chance, and I am not going to blow it."

I fastened the button to my jeans. "You haven't?"

He shook his head. "They were upset that I actually signed the divorce papers. My sister said I was an idiot for letting you get away. My parents thought we needed to talk, but we were both being stubborn on that front. God, if we had only talked so many things could have been resolved."

"Yeah, this whole divorce would have never happened. But then we might not have these babies. I'm thankful for them, you, Posy, and Liam." I meant it too. We held hands the entire way home. The problem with being in the second trimester was that you were no longer tired. No you were fucking horny like all the time. I wanted to jump his bones constantly. Like the other day, he walked out of the bathroom wrapped only in a towel. I could see his arm muscles contracting as he dried his hair with another one. There is nothing sexier than a man fresh out of the shower.

I shook my head because I couldn't think like that, at least not yet. "If it weren't for this whole mess I would have never realized how much I needed you. Before we moved in together, we saw each other when our schedules permitted. Then junior year we got an apartment together. I remember how difficult it was living together at first, but there were more benefits. For one, I got to see you more than once or twice a day."

There was a big smile on his face. "I loved being able to wake up every morning with you in my arms. I often found myself watching you sleep."

"I always knew you were a creeper."

He grinned at me. "Only for you baby."

I playfully punched him. Liam and Posy were already home from school by the time we arrived home. They had an afternoon babysitter on the days we weren't home. Posy sat at the kitchen table working on her homework. They were learning how to write basic words in kindergarten.

I kissed her head as I slowly sank down on the seat beside her. "How's the homework going love?"

She sighed. "This is hard."

"Nothing worth having in life is easy."

She wrinkled her brow. "That doesn't make sense."

"I know, but it will in the future. I promise." I twirled a curl around my finger. "Do you want a snack?"

"Yes, can I have the fruit stuff?"

"Sure sweetheart, do you want the pita chips as well?" She nodded her head. I pushed myself up because there was a little more belly. "So you're sixth birthday is coming up soon. Is there anything special you want to do?"

"Can we have a tea party at the American Girl Doll store? Jenny says she had one." Jenny was her arch-nemesis. They had known each other since nursery school, and the animosity they held for each other only increased as time went on. "I could invite a friend who has a doll as well. Then we can get our hair done together so we could be twinsies." Posy was every bit as much of the girly girl I was at her age.

"I will see what I can do Posy." I set the bowl and bag of chips in front of her.

"Mommy how come you have blonde hair growing like me? I thought it was brown."

This kid was perceptive. "Mommy was born with blonde hair like you. I had it my entire life until I was eighteen. See older people can change their hair color with hair dye. I didn't like my hair color, and wanted it to be darker. However, hair dye is bad when you are having a baby. So my real hair color grows in until I can dye it."

She nods her head thoughtfully. "It's pretty." She says. "Did you know that there is a new girl in my class? Her name is Sarah. She is my new best friend." It always amazed me how fast children could make friends. I guess at their age didn't really have to worry about trust and loyalty as much. "She's already six. I wish I was six." She pouted.

"January isn't too far off."

"Two months," she grumbled.

"Sometimes I swear we created a mini-me. You act far too much like me at your age."

"Did you find out if I am having a brother or a sister?"

"How would you feel about a brother?"

She chewed on the top of her pencil. "Boys got cooties. They are always dirty and smelly. They don't play dolls or house."

I chuckled. "And if you had a sister?"

She brightened up immediately. "We could be best friends. We would play dolls. I could be the teacher when we play school. She could take dance lessons like me."

"Slow your roll there munchkin, babies can't do much until they are about two or three. Even at two they only have a basic understanding, and will probably get on your nerves. By the time they are old enough to play with you properly, you won't even want to play with them. You'll want to hang out with your friends and spend less time at home."

Her face fell. "Well that isn't fun. What is the point of having a baby sister if I can't play with her?"

"I know your aunt and I were much closer in age, but you will have someone you can tell everything to. But I want you to know that I will be there for you as well."

"I know mama, I love you." She got up and wrapped her arms around me.

"I love you too kiddo."

"You still didn't answer my question." She reminded me. She wasn't easily deterred like some other kids.

"You will be a big sister to a brother and a sister. What do you think of that?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. I only the twins from my class. They are brother and sister, but they don't get along that much."

"That's why she will need you when she is older. You have a brother, and he gets on your nerves. Well she will have one that is her age, and he will be going to school with her and everything."

"Can I help pick out pretty clothes for her?"

"Oh Posy, sometimes I think my personality just moved itself into you."

* * *

**A/N- Now some of you may be wondering why the weight gain didn't register to her, well for one she wasn't really paying attention. She just thought she was getting fat. Twins satisfies both of their children. About their counseling, sometimes you've got to say what you really want to. You can't tiptoe around it because that leads to problems. How will someone know something annoys you if you don't tell them? Communication starts with little things. Well let me know your thoughts, and I will see you (figuratively) next week after Tuesday. **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N- I don't know what is wrong with me. Instead of studying for my psych exam tomorrow, I was too distracted with writing this. Practically the entire chapter takes place in the past, to show how the past impacted the future. I decided to let this be a gift to all of you. You guys have been absolutely wonderful. All mistakes are mine.**

* * *

_Many times I've tried to tell you_

_Many times I've cried alone_

_Always I'm surprised how well you_

_Cut my feelings to the bone_

_May 2000~ Two Weeks before Prom_

_We broke up. There was a disagreement, and it quickly escalated until we decided to end the relationship. I sat in my bedroom, refusing to see anyone. _

_I wiped furiously at the tears that fell. He didn't deserve my tears. If he was going to be a jerk about this then fine. He blamed me because he got into a fight with Jake. He said I shouldn't have been drinking with him at the party. I was drunk, and Jake tried to take advantage of that. Edward found out from some other kids at school a few days later. He hated Jake. I don't know why. It's not like I have ever kissed him or wanted to. He's barely a friend. _

_Edward got suspended for three days, while Jake was expelled. It was unfortunate since graduation was in a month. Jake had a record, while Edward didn't. He was pissed at me. I didn't think he trusted me, which is why I ended it between us. We shouldn't be in a relationship with each other. He accused me of throwing myself at Jake, and I slapped him. He had no right to call me a slut. _

_I distracted myself with schoolwork and ballet. There was nothing else for me to do. I had already accepted my place at Northwestern, where unfortunately Edward would be going as well. Chicago sometimes seemed like a small city. I'm just glad he lives fifteen minutes from me by car ride. _

_Every time I saw him, my heart broke a little more. He seemed to be coping well enough. There were girls constantly hanging all over him, not that he paid them any attention. However, it was clear that he had options. I just wasn't one of them anymore. Luckily, we didn't have any classes together this year, otherwise that would have been awkward. We weren't a couple that had tons of break ups. This was the first and only. _

_His AP Lit class was the period after mine so occasionally we would run into each other. Sometimes our eyes connected, and I wanted to tell him it was partially my fault. His eyes would soften until he remembered what happened, and then he would be back to glaring. I had almost jeopardized his place at Northwestern. Luckily, the principal decided not to put that on his record, but he could have gotten into trouble. _

_I had to start driving myself to school because Edward and I used to carpool. Well really he drove me to and home from school. I was glad I had my own car. It was '99 Mercedes-Benz E320 in black. It was my dad's car until he decided he wanted a new one. _

_I took a seat next to Angela in calculus. It was different now that Edward and I weren't together. We used to talk about our boyfriends, but I knew Ange felt bad whenever she spoke about Ben. She didn't want to make me uncomfortable. Our conversations were usually stilted. _

"_Hey," I greeted, plopping down in my seat. _

_She seemed nervous for some reason. "Hi," she squeaked. _

_I quirked a brow at her. "Is there something wrong?"_

_She laughed nervously. "Wrong, why would something be wrong? You're so funny Bella." _

_My eyes narrowed to slits. "What's going on Angela?"_

_Her eyes flashed before she sighed in defeat. "Edward's got a date for the prom." My heart skipped a beat. _

"_Oh," I said. That was the last thing I expected. "Who is he going with?"_

"_Charlotte Price." Charlotte or Lottie as we called her was a sweet girl. She was the grade below us, but we had known her since pre-school. _

"_I see," I picked up all my belongings before walking right out of the classroom. Everyone stared at me. I had never missed a day of school before, let alone skip a class. Luckily, Mr. Evanson wasn't there yet, otherwise I probably would have gotten into trouble. I exited right out of the school building. I couldn't be here. _

_Don't wanna leave you really_

_I've invested too much time_

_To give you up that easy_

_To the doubts that complicate your mind_

_It was like I couldn't breathe. I needed air, and I couldn't get it here. I went to Lincoln Park to the Arthur Caldwell Lily Pool. My dad used to take me when I was younger. We would sit on the stones and talk. I don't know how long I sat there, but it was almost sundown when I arrived home. If my parents knew I skipped school, they didn't say anything about it. I didn't need crap from them on top of everything else. _

_Rosalie was home from college. She graduated earlier this month magna cum laude from Brown University. She got her degree in journalism, and was currently working on getting a job with the Chicago Tribune. She and Emmett had broken up after their sophomore year because the long distance relationship was too much. He went to USC for football, and majored in pre-med. He would be starting med school in the fall at the Feinburg School of Medicine, Northwestern University. As far as I knew they had spoken only a few times since they split. I only knew where he was going for med school because our parents were friends. _

_Rosalie was seated at the piano when I arrived home. She seemed to be lost in her own thoughts. I tried to close the door as quietly as possible, but it still made the little clicking noise. Rose's head snapped up as she stared at me. A sinister grin lit up her face. "I see the little ditcher has finally come home."_

_I quickly look around to make sure my parents aren't around. "How did you know about that?" I whispered angrily. _

_She rolled her eyes. "Who do you think answered the phone when your school called?" I shrugged because the school calling never factored into anything. "So why did you leave? You love school." She stated as if it was obvious. It was. _

_I refused to meet her eyes. "Is this about Edward?"_

"_Don't say his name please." That was the last thing I wanted to hear. "But to answer your question yes."_

_She looked down at the keys. "I see." Her fingers drifted over the keys as she began playing a song I was unfamiliar with. "Being heartbroken is a normal human reaction. Sometimes it inspires something inside of us we didn't know we had. I wrote this song myself after Emmett and I called it off. I was feeling shitty about myself, and composing music seemed like the way to get all of my emotions out. I know it isn't quite the same situation, but the feelings are the same."_

_Most people thought we were dumb because of the blonde stereotype, but it was instances like this where my sister proved her intelligence and ability to have empathy. _

_I took a seat next to her on the piano bench. "I guess we are two peas in a pod." I bumped her shoulder with mine. "Does it always hurt like this?" I never imagined something could be this painful. I thought my heart would beat right out of my chest. It didn't feel like I would be happy again, at least not the kind I had with him. _

_She turned to me with sad eyes. "I wish I could tell you that one day you won't remember how it feels, but that would be a lie. If you love him as much as I have seen then the pain will dull some. However, it will never fully go away. You'll always feel like a part of you is missing, and perhaps it is. It wasn't as if Emmett and I wanted to break up, but our lives were on different paths. We barely knew each other. We needed to let the other go, if it is meant to be then maybe one day it will all work out. For now, I am dealing with it as best I can. Some days are certainly better than others. But there are those days when I can barely get out of bed because the heartbreak is so crushing." She was describing exactly what I was feeling. _

"_I wish it didn't have to be like this. I love him more than I thought I would or could ever love someone. He brings the sun when there is rain. Before he came my life was ordinary, I was getting by. Then he came shooting across my sky and nothing was left untouched. I regret going to that party, but the fact is he didn't believe me when I told him I didn't want to be with Jake. How can I be with him after that? I get where he is coming from after hearing all of the rumors all over school, but if he wanted to know what happened why didn't he come to me first."_

_She wrapped an arm around me. We sat there for hours talking about everything and nothing. I missed her when she was away at college. She didn't have much time to talk on the phone. She spent the majority of her breaks with friends. We saw her at Christmas and the first week of summer. After that she was gone. _

_Graduation_

_I decided not to attend prom. Rosalie and I went out for a girls' night instead. I hadn't felt that close to her since we were children. _

_She was helping me get dressed for graduation, which was in two hours. She couldn't believe it when I decided to chop most of it off. It was somewhere between my shoulders and the middle of my back. My hair was in its' natural wavy state. I had on light make-up. My heels were three inches, and my dress was white with yellow flowers. Both of my parents teared up when they saw me walk down the stairs with my cap and gown. _

"_Oh baby, you look so grown up." My mother took me into her arms. I understood what this meant to her. I was her last child, and I would be leaving in a few months. I opted to live on campus to get the full college experience. _

"_We are proud of you Bella." My dad was a mess. He didn't like seeing his daughters go off into the world where he couldn't protect us anymore. _

_Alice and Jasper were here as well. They got married last year at Christmas. Alice was different from his previous girlfriends. I actually liked her. She was petite with shoulder length, dark brown hair. She was obsessed with fashion, but her ultimate love was teaching. She taught third grade at my old elementary school. Jasper thought she hung the moon. He was never like that with his old girlfriends, and I knew she was different. _

_They both gave me a hug. I drove myself to the school since the students had to be there an hour before the parents. I was graduating with honors, and I was the valedictorian. I had a perfect 4.0 GPA. The salutatorian had a 3.98._

_My speech was only finished the night before. I had driven my entire family crazy over the last week. Speeches are hard because you want it to be memorable. I didn't want it to be boring for my classmates. My eyes, with practice, had learned to stop searching for Edward. It was hard. It hurt too much to see him. Apparently, he and Lottie had a good time at prom. There were rumors they were dating. _

_We lined up with Kara Andrews behind me. She was the salutatorian, and we had been competing with one another since freshman year. We had all the same classes, but it turns out I did better in Honors Chemistry than she did. I was a little smug about it. _

_We walked in and took our seats. We listened to principal talk and then the superintendent. Kara's speech was first. It was a bit dry in my opinion. My palms started sweating as I walked up to the podium. All eyes were on me. Kara shot me a glare as she passed by me. _Stuck up bitch.

_We belong to the light_

_We belong to the thunder_

_We belong to the sound of the words_

_We've both fallen under_

_I cleared my throat. "Today is the day our lives changed. We've been welcoming and dreading this day since our first day freshman year. Tomorrow we will no longer call ourselves high school students. No we will be the future. I have known most of you since nursery school, and we have traveled this long journey together. After today, we won't see each other. Sometimes things are better left in high school." I caught Edward's eye, and removed my gaze from him. "It seems scary to think that our futures are before us, but hasn't it always been that way? We never saw the big picture because we had our parents to guide us and our friends to comfort us. Memories is all our time spent here will be. In ten years at our reunion, I will barely remember any of you. That's how life works as my dad says. Just know that from here on out every moment counts so make it last. Congratulations to the class of 2000. We made it." There was applause all around, but I ignored it as I took my seat. _

_I know my mother probably went camera crazy. She did the same thing at Jasper and Rosie's graduations. I smiled real big as I shook hands with the principal as I collected my diploma. My family cheered loudly for me causing me to blush a little with embarrassment. The rest of the commencement ceremony proceeded in a blur. I remember the party my family held afterwards. Lots of my friends had come, and extended family members from out of state were there as well. _

_Everyone congratulated me on my speech. The only thing I remembered from that day was the way Edward's face looked when I said some things should be left in high school. _

_October 2000_

_At the moment I was only enrolled in one legal studies course: Legal Studies 206: Law and Society. It was a beginner course for anyone interested in possibly pursuing legal studies as a major or minor. I was also enrolled in rhetoric, writing composition, and Latin. There were three semester- fall, winter, and spring. There was also summer, but that would be a last resort for me. _

_I had seen him a couple of times in passing, but I don't think he recognized me. I dyed my hair a few days after my birthday to a dark brown. It had grown back out over the summer, and I wanted to do something else besides cut it. I liked my darker locks. It certainly freaked out my parents the first time they saw it. However, if they had a negative opinion, they never voiced it. I was eighteen, and in control of my own decisions for once. _

_I was going with my roommate Josie to a party. It was Halloween, and an excuse for us to get drunk. I was certainly living up the college life, while balancing my grades. _

"_Ohh Bella, you could get any guy you want dressed like that." She giggled, already slightly inebriated. I would be the first to admit she had a drinking problem. Her parents put a lot of pressure on her all throughout her childhood, and so she saw college as an opportunity to escape them. She never listened when I tried to talk to her about it. She constantly denied she had a problem. I was in a little black dress with black cat ears. I had black sheer tights on, and five inch black heels on. My make-up was a little over done, but it was Halloween. I barely recognized the girl I used to be. I took my hair of the clip holding it back, and shook it all out. _

"_Come on let's go to the party," we linked arms. She was an okay friend except she wasn't Angela. _

_I danced with a few guys at the party, but it was nothing more than that. I was careful with what I drank because I had seen what happened to some girls at previous parties. _

_I was dancing with a masked prince charming. The lighting was poor so I couldn't get a good look at his face. Our bodies moved together languidly. His hands were placed on my hips, and I felt the urge to kiss him. That had certainly never happened with any other guy except… Edward. His lips trailed deliciously over the curvature of my neck. He whispered huskily in my ear, "Do you have any idea how ravishing you look tonight?"_

_I shook my head. "You are absolutely sinful. I want to take you home and fuck you. I want to see these magnificent legs of yours wrapped around me as I pound into you." I was wet. His dirty words were turning me on. "Is that what you want?" He breathed into my ear. His mouth slowly sucked on my lobe, and I bit back a moan. No one had controlled my body like this. _

"_Yes," I breathed. I had never been that girl before, but this guy was driving me crazy. His lips were on my lips as soon as we left the party. He pulled my bottom into his mouth, and it reminds me of Edward. "Edward," I moan causing him to freeze. _

"_How did you know my name?" I snapped out of my lust filled haze. _

"_Oh shit, fuck, this can't be happening." I take off because this sort of shit just doesn't happen. How is it I go to a party to get him off my mind, and almost go home with him? _

"_Bella, is that you?" I hear him behind me, but I still keep running. My shoes are in my hands because I wouldn't get far in them. "Please Bella come back," he pleaded brokenly, halting me in my tracks. I broke him. _

_Have we become a habit?_

_Do we distort the facts?_

_Now, there's no looking forward_

_Now, there's no turning back_

_When you say_

_I turned around to see him slowly walking towards me. He seemed surprised by my new look. "You're different."_

"_So are you."_

"_I'm sorry for thinking you were interested in him." He apologized. _

"_Then why did you say that?" _

_He pulled at his hair. "I don't know. Okay well I do. I was so fucking jealous. Here you are the most beautiful girl," I scoffed at him. "Trust me I am not the only one who thinks so. I couldn't imagine why someone like you who had the world at her feet and any guy she wanted would date me."_

_What the fuck? "Are you serious? I dated you because you were different. You listened to me. You saw me when no one else did. So what if those fucktards back in high school thought I was hot, they only wanted to fuck me. You wanted to know me. Yeah we fucked but we made love as well. I love you, only you. We dated for two years until you accused me of wanting someone else. If I didn't want to be with you, we wouldn't have been together."_

_His face fell as my words hit him like a mac truck. "Wait… you still love me?" I nodded. _

"_It's alright if you don't return my feelings. A lot of time has passed."_

"_What the fuck are you taking about Bella?" He seemed utterly confused._

_I tilted my head. "Aren't you dating Lottie?"_

_He started laughing. "I didn't think it was funny."_

"_Bella, I only went with her to prom because her date bailed at the last minute. She knew I was hung up on you, and wouldn't try to get into her pants like some of the other guys we went to school with."_

_Well now I felt stupid. All these fucking months wasted because high school shit. "I wasn't saying goodbye. Rose told me that sometimes if things are meant to be they will happen. If tonight is any indication, we are meant to be. I mean out of an entire party of half dressed women, you chose me."_

_He smiled. "Yeah, I did. I would do it again. I'm going to kiss you now." I didn't say anything. When he touched me, I felt the tingling sensation that had been missing with others. His lips claimed mine with a fiery passion. I never wanted it to end. He still felt the same as he did before we broke up. He broke the kiss, and connected our foreheads. "I love you."_

"_Always?"_

"_Forever," he promised. "Now come on," he tugged on my hand. "I need you out of this dress like five minutes ago." I giggled. _

"_Oh I thought you knew I don't put out on the first date Mr. Masen?" I teased. _

_He grinned back at me. "Good thing this isn't a first date and we are in love."_

_I chewed on my lip nervously. "You sure you still want me?"_

"_Bella, you were the only woman I saw in that room. I just knew that I needed to get to you, be with you because like I told you over a year ago, this is it. We may have had a little bump in the road, but we are together now. I can't promise I won't ever piss you off again, but I will do my best to keep my jealousy under control."_

"_Come on, some make-up sex is definitely in order." _

_We belong to the light_

_We belong to the thunder_

_We belong to the sound of the words_

_We've both fallen under_

_We talked all the way back to his dorm. I told him about my summer of fun with Rosalie. We went to Europe, and in some countries the legal drinking age is sixteen. I turned eighteen two days before we returned to America. We went to so many pubs. It was an unforgettable experience that we had to edit for my parents. _

_He pressed me against the door as his lips trailed down my neck. "Oh baby, I've missed you." He told me before his lips connected with mine. My legs wrapped around his waist. Hello, old friend, you've been more than missed. As he grinded against me, my head fell back against the door. _

"_Oh Edward," I groaned. His lips were everywhere, and he was killing me. I needed him. I needed to feel him inside me, filling me, and making me his again. "Please Edward."_

"_Tell me what you want."_

"_I want you to make love to me." I told him. He carried me over to his twin sized bed. He stared at me with a possessive glean in his eyes. I licked my lips at how gorgeous he looked in the light. _

_He took off one shoe, then the other. He then reached under my dress to pull my tights off. He kissed his way up my leg to where I really wanted him. I was aching for him. "Oh fuck," he muttered. "You smell amazing. And you're so wet. Are you wet for me little Bella?" He asked as a finger entered me. All I could do was moan like a bitch, his bitch. "Answer the question."_

"_Yes," I breathed out. "Only for you, always for you." I knew he was smirking. He was a smug bastard. _

"_I know." He added a second finger just as his tongue made contact with my clit. My hips came off the bed as I receiving a pleasure I had been deprived of. _

"_Oh god," he swirled his tongue, and I never wanted him to stop. _

"_So good baby, so responsive." He sucked and licked until I couldn't take it anymore. The pressure had been building since the party. Only he could do this to me. He controlled my body. _

"_I'm going to come."_

"_Come baby, come for me." I tightened around his fingers as I reached my orgasm. _

_I was breathing heavily, once he made his way up to me. I could taste myself on his lips, but that only spurred me on. I ripped open his shirt, not caring that his buttons flew all over the place. He chuckled, "careful love."_

_His pants and boxers were disposed of, and suddenly it was just us. My dress was long gone. There weren't any lingering insecurities as he stared at my body appraisingly. "You are beautiful." I believed him. I grabbed his dick, and positioned him at my entrance. _

"_I need you Edward."_

"_I know." He said before plunging into me. He filled me completely, and I knew why there would never be another for me. We fit together. His body was made for mine. He swallowed my screams with his mouth as he continued to enter my body. I gave him all of me. _

_We can't begin to know it_

_How much we really care_

_I hear your voice inside me_

_I see your face everywhere_

_Still you say_

_His hands ran over the curves of my body as if trying to re-familiarize himself with what he already knew. His lips are still on my lips, and we don't slow. My memories didn't do him justice. I had forgotten or blocked out what it felt like to just be with him. He made me feel whole. I could breathe again. _

_His mouth is on my breast as he sucks on my nipple. "Oh Bella, you're perfect." His other hand gently squeezes the other one. I knew I was close, so close. _

_His touch seems to burn my skin, but I don't care. "I missed you."_

_He pulled back to look at me. "I missed you more than you'll ever know." I held onto him because I wanted this to be real. _

"_This isn't a dream is it?" I asked._

_He shook his head as he rocked against me. It eventually became too much for both of us as we come together, and yet I continued to hold onto to him tightly. I needed him; I would always need him. We didn't fuck. We made love, and that was better than anything in the world. He made all the hurt go away. _

_We laid there content. "Promise me, we will be okay." I wanted him to say it._

_He kissed my forehead. "We will be better than okay as long as we have each other." I fell asleep in his arms. It was the best sleep I had had since before the break-up. I was loved._

_Close your eyes and try to sleep now_

_Close your eyes and try to dream_

_Clear your mind and do your best_

_To try and wash the palette clean_

Lauren sometimes asked us to meet her separately so we could talk about our own issues as a person and not a couple. I told her most of the story, skipping over the sex aspect. I think she could knew what happened without me telling her it anyways.

"So you've had problems before, and at the time I do admit you were right to call it off. If he doubted your place in the relationship, why should you stay with him?"

It was still hard to talk about. "Bella, I think in my personal opinion that you were right. You two are meant for each other. I don't think all of these things would have happened if the universe wasn't trying to tell you something. A secret is that stubborn people tend to do or think what they want, no matter how many times people attempt to persuade them otherwise. There's a quote by Neil Gaiman that fits you and Edward perfectly. 'There's none so blind as those who will not listen.' You didn't listen to him when he tried to explain himself."

"But you agreed I was right in breaking up with him."

"Yes, as a woman I agree. However, as your therapist you didn't listen when he tried to tell you his reasons for reacting the way he did."

Shame filled me as I listened to her continue to talk. Edward had attempted to explain why he felt so strongly against Jake. I put off as some sort male macho thing. He did have valid reasons to think the way he did.

"You know what Lauren you're right. At every opportunity, I was waiting for him to screw up. I thought it would be better if it was on my terms and not his. He may not have realized it, but he had other options. I am not saying I was insecure or lack confidence, I just never understood why he wanted to be with me. I was a nerd. I spent most of time in a book until he came along. Before that, I had almost forgotten how to have fun. He made me feel so alive, and I wouldn't be able to bear it if he decided that I wasn't what he wanted."

I clasped my hands together as I continued. "All my life, I was told how much I looked like my sister or my parents. Teachers talked about how much of a joy it was to have taught my siblings. I'm the youngest, and it felt weird to have someone who only knew me. He only saw me and no one else." She nodded. "My career was something else that was purely mine. None of my family had ever studied law. This was a chance for me to show everyone that I wasn't just someone's daughter or sister. I was special in my own right. In my haste to prove myself, a part of me overlooked the fact that there was someone who did all of that."

Lauren had a huge smile on her face. "I think we have made a breakthrough."

She was right in that I reached my aha moment. "I didn't need my job to do that for me. Someone had known all along that I was my own person separate of my family. I was only ever Bella to him."

I thanked Lauren for her time, but I had to go see him. I had to tell him all about today's session. Lauren was right. The universe was throwing us together, every time we decided we needed to be apart, because we belonged together.

Whatever we deny or embrace

For worse or for better

We belong, we belong

We belong together

We Belong- Pat Benatar

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**A/N- I'm not particularly good at writing love scenes so I hope it was okay. What did you think? It is definitely some food for thought. Was Edward justified? Was Bella right to break up with him? Let me know what you think. Now this really should be the last chapter until next week. **


	9. Important Author's Note

This isn't an update. I meant to attach this to a previous chapter after a guest reviewer made a comment. They said why was Edward out on the night he and Bella had sex if Posy was sick.

To answer the question, he didn't know she was going to be sick. She was fine when he left the apartment earlier that night. People get sick instantly all the time. You could be feeling fine one minutes and feel like shit the next. That's life. He's not being a bad parent if he goes out, not knowing his daughter is sick.

Secondly, he didn't tell Bella because they didn't exactly have shared custody. Why wake up someone your kids are unaccustomed to seeing. Edward had been there for them when they were sick anyways. Children tend to be clingy when they are sick, and they were around Edward more than Bella for obvious reasons.

If you leave a guest review, don't be nasty because I can't reply back. Make an account and allow me to explain myself before you basically tear my to shreds. I'm a human being. I do have feelings. You may not see me behind my computer, but trust me I am as real as you.

Have a nice weekend,

Elle


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N- **** So I will be taking cover after this chapter because the ending is unexpected. I had been trying to figure out a good way to do it for the last few chapters, but it was kind of hard. I have yet to decide how I want this to end. I'm battling between two different endings. I might make one the official one and the other the alternate. Anyways as always this is un beta'd.**

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_The day Edward asked me out on our first date hadn't exactly been a good one. I was in a foul mood that day after my brother decided to be an ass and make me late for school. _

"_Come on Jasper, I am going to be late." I yelled through the house. It way May, and he had recently graduated from NYU. Both of my siblings decided they didn't want to go to any of the great colleges nearby. They wanted to spread their wings so to speak. _

_I knew Rose was having a hard time with her break up with Emmett. She had told my parents she would be spending the summer in Europe with one of her friends. Apparently, said friend's family owned a villa in France. Mom and Dad agreed because they didn't want Rose to be swarmed by all of the memories of Emmett. They had dated since eighth grade, and he was like another member of the family. We were used to his daily presence. _

_Jasper majored in psychology. He would be going back to New York in a few months for medical school. I missed him when he was gone; yet I couldn't help but feel relieved he didn't live close. I had enough trouble getting my father to be rational about me dating. Jasper did not make it easy for Emmett to date Rose. He felt the need to chaperone all of their dates in the beginning. He even went so far as sitting in-between them at the movies. After that, Rose told my mother what was going on. She gave my dad and brother an earful that night. She reminded them about how hypocritical they were being. That shut both of them up._

"_Just give me a few more minutes pipsqueak." _

"_What the hell Jasper? I told you yesterday what time I leave the house for school. Seriously, it wasn't even that long ago that you went there yourself. Get your ass down her so we can leave. I don't care who the fuck is in your bedroom, my perfect attendance record isn't going to be ruined because you have been entertaining guests in your room. I will tell mom." I warned him. I wasn't bluffing. I was tired of my siblings walking all over me. _

_He was downstairs in less than two minutes after that. He glared at me, but wisely kept his mouth shut. I was five minutes late to school because of him. Even worse, I forgot my lunch money at home. My English teacher gave me a B+ on my paper. I worked hard to do all the stupid research for that paper. I spent more time than probably anyone else in my class did on that paper. I hated that teacher anyways. She had it out for me just like she had it out for my siblings. _

_Jasper said it had something to do with our dad rejecting her back in the day. Figures, the children always pay for the sins of the parents. _

_To top it all off, Frankie who was in charge of bringing the poster for our Latin project had mono. We had to make due, and basically present our project without any visuals. _

_By the time I arrived in biology I wasn't even in the mood to sit next to Edward. I sat by Angela instead who curiously glanced at me, but she had enough tact not to question me. I saw Edward raise his eyebrows when he entered the classroom. I could tell he was crestfallen by my decision. _

_We had talked almost every day afterschool. Some days we didn't when I had ballet or soccer. I've been told it is a weird combination, but my legs loved me for it. _

_After class, he came up to me when I was grabbing my homework out of my locker. "Hi Edward," I told him, not actually looking at him. I wanted him to ask me out. I didn't want to ask him in case he didn't like me that way. _

"_Bella, I'm going to be frank. I like you and I was wondering if you would go on a date with my Friday?" I froze. That was completely unexpected. All I could do was stand there with my textbook in my hand. "You know what forget it. It was stupid." He turned to go when my arm shot out to keep him in place._

"_Yes. I will go out with you." He crushed me to his chest. I smelled him of course because his scent was absolutely divine. I could never get enough of him. _

"_I will call you later." He said before heading towards the exit. I collapsed against my locker, thinking about him. He was wonderful. _

He sometimes reminded me of that fifteen year old boy. He was more confident than he once was. But he was still sweet, and he still wanted me.

_First Date: May 1998_

_Edward decided to take me to Navy Pier. He wanted me to have fun and live a little. I had a lot fun. It was great not worrying about my future. I didn't have ballet, and the soccer season had ended. _

_He held my hand the entire day, never letting go except of course when we went to the restroom. Other than that, we held hands while eating and when we rode the Ferris wheel. God, I really liked him. He made me smile when I wanted to frown. He made me laugh all the time. He made everything better with his presence. _

_When we were walking the pier as it started to get darker, I asked him a question that changed our entire relationship. "Edward?"_

"_Hmm?"_

_I braced myself. "Do you like me?"_

"_No." I thought my heart was going to fall right out of my chest. _

"_Oh," I didn't know what else to say. Tears were falling down my cheeks._

"_I don't like you because I think I'm in love with you."_

_Did he just say…? "You love me?" I wanted to be clear about this. _

"_Yes Isabella Rosemarie Cullen, I love you. I thought it was fairly obvious."_

"_But… but we've only been on one date." I stammered out. _

"_Doesn't stop me from loving you, I think I fell in love with you from the moment you opened your mouth. You are certainly one of a kind."_

"_Edward, I love you too." I told him before pulling him down to kiss me. It was our first kiss. I never imagined that this sweet boy could actually want to be with me. I vowed I wouldn't take him for granted. _

_He pulled his lips from mine. "I wanted to ask you out sooner, but uh…" he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I was scared you would say no. I thought about taking you out that first day after you gave me your phone number."_

_I stood on my tippy toes to lean close to his ear. "Just so you know," I whispered, "I would have said yes even then."_

"_Always?"_

"_Always, you're stuck with me Edward Masen."_

_He grinned at me. "I guess I am Bella Cullen." When we were together, we were Bella and Edward. The world didn't matter._

It had been some months since everything went down. I was heading into my six month. I felt like a freaking whale, but every time Edward looked at me I felt beautiful. Darkness had fallen over Chicago while I was at my appointment. I checked the clock to see that it was after seven.

"Thanks Laurie for the ride," I was unable to drive with my protruding stomach. My friend Laurie was more than happy to drive me since Edward was busy with work.

We were hitting every single red light, which was seriously pissing me off. It was like fate was trying to keep us apart. Then as the light turned green and we moved forward, all I could see was black.

Say something, I'm giving up on you  
Say something...

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**A/N- I know a lot of this took place in the past, but she's been swarmed with memories of the past since her appointment with Lauren. This is called Say Something, and it isn't like the song has the best ending. **


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N-Today is kind of a sad day. I'm leaving behind my freshman year. I'm excited for what sophomore year has to bring, but this past school year has gone by too fast. I had my last exam this morning, which I breezed through with little studying. I think it took me like thirty minutes or less to compete it. Anyways in a few hours after my presentation at 2, I will be on my way home. I'm so excited for summer.**

**The people have spoken, and they want an HEA. This isn't the epilogue. I think there is one more chapter before that, and then the epilogue. I might add an outtake or two. One will be from the night that sparked the whole story. The other I'm still debating on. Enjoy the story, and as usual I don't own Twilight. All mistakes in this story are mine.**

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Esme POV

The night was as ordinary as any night except for the phone call. It was rare that we received phone calls on the house phone. We kept it around for practical purposes. Carlisle had already locked himself in his study as he prepared for his surgery the next day. Tired from the infernal ringing, I answered it without checking the caller id.

"Hello?" I greeted the other person on the line.

"Is this Mrs. Cullen?"

"Yes, how may I help you?'

"Mrs. Cullen, I am Nurse Rodriguez at Northwestern Memorial Hospital where your daughter Isabella Cullen has just been admitted."

"What do you mean my daughter has been admitted?" Surely, this woman wasn't serious. However, dread started to creep into my heart. I could feel something was wrong, very wrong.

"She was in a car accident. She and another woman were hit by a drunk driver. I have no other information for you at this moment."

"My husband and I are leaving now." I told her. "Is she alright?"

"They have taken her into emergency surgery." Oh god, she was pregnant.

"We will be there as soon as we can." I hung up the phone and rushed into Carlisle's office.

His head shot up as I burst into his study. It was unusual that I would disturb him when he was working. "Es, sweetheart is there something wrong? Why are you crying?"

His arms were wrapped tightly around me. "It's B-b-b-bella." I sobbed into his chest.

He pulled back, his face stony. "What's wrong with Bella?"

I sniffled. "She's at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. A drunk driver collided with her car. They've taken her into surgery."

He grabbed my arm pulling me through the house as he grabbed his car keys off the hook by the door. We were in the car and on the way to the hospital before I could register what had happened. This wasn't supposed to happen. From the way the nurse on the phone spoke, it wasn't good. God, I wondered how Edward must be dealing with this when I remembered why she must've called us.

"Oh no, Edward doesn't know."

"Call him and tell him."

I shook my head. "I can't." There were some things I just couldn't do. Making a heartbreaking phone call to my former son-in-law was one of them.

"Fine, I will call him." I was glad he got this car now. He could make phone calls easily without actually taking his eyes off the road.

"Hello Carlisle, are you looking for Bella? She's not home, but I can tell her you called."

I saw Carlisle square his shoulders as he prepared himself to deliver bad news. That was the one thing he hated about his job. He learned the hard way that sometimes you have to distance yourself from patients because even a good outcome could turn into a bad one.

"Edward, Bella was in an accident. We are on our way to Northwestern Memorial. We only know that she's been taken into surgery."

"Oh god," I think he was crying. "I'm on my way. The kids will be coming with me." Liam and Posy just got their mother back, and now they might lose her permanently this time.

"Okay, just remember you're not alone. See you at the hospital."

Deciding that he had made the hardest phone call, I called my other two children. Jasper and Rosalie were both on their way to the hospital as well.

I prayed to God. There was nothing else I could do but pray. This wasn't supposed to happen. She was finally going to be happy. She could lose one or both of the babies, or we could lose her. Both were bad because children shouldn't die before their parents. I never imagined a world where I would be here after one of my kids died. That couldn't happen. I would die inside. They were my everything. They were always doing silly things as children like putting on little shows or hiding when it was time for bed. We used to make a game out of going to bed. I remembered all the giggles and kisses at bedtime.

I was in a daze as Carlisle began requesting information at the hospital. I sat there in the waiting room thinking back on my young daughter's life. She was only thirty-two for God's sake. Sure, she was often misguided and had a bit of an inferiority complex, but I loved her as much as I loved the others. Sometimes I loved her more because she was my last. I couldn't have any more kids after her. It had been a difficult pregnancy and birth, but every minute was worth it once they placed her in my arms. She was small only 5 lbs. but she was beautiful. She had blonde curls from the moment she was born, and the bluest eyes I ever saw. I remembered thinking that I was okay if I never had another child again. Three little miracles were enough for me.

Watching all three of them grow up was a gift. They each had their own personalities from the moment they were born. Jasper preferred me over his dad when he was an infant. He only cried when I was around. If it was his daddy, he would just stare at him as if asking 'where's mommy'. Rosalie was a diva from the moment she came screaming into the world. She didn't care who took care of her as long as she got the attention she thought she deserved. She had bluish-green eyes, and one pout from her and Carlisle would do anything. He spoiled her rotten, but she never acted like a brat. She was well-behaved, and wanted everyone to know how smart and talented she was. Bella was my shy baby. She only cried when she desperately needed something. She loved her daddy most of all, but she enjoyed Mommy and Bella time as well. I could always count on her to help out around the house.

She stopped fights between her siblings before they escalated. Jasper and Rosalie definitely didn't get along growing up. Being only two years apart, Jasper and Rosie were going through similar things around the same time. He hated when she started dating Emmett, and she called all his girlfriends sluts. I pretended not to hear because I didn't tolerate the kind of language being thrown around, but as a parent you pick and choose your battles with your children.

Bella was easy. She was the youngest so by the time Rosalie entered high school, Bella was still in elementary school. She went to school, dance, and soccer. She never complained about dinner or doing homework. In fact, she thought she had a lot more to prove than her siblings. She disliked when she would be placed with a teacher that Jasper or Rosalie previously had. She hated when people expected a lot of her because she put enough pressure on herself as it was.

The day she came home after meeting Edward, I had never seen her so confused in my life. He was the change she needed in her life.

_Walking through the front door, I enjoyed the quietness. With Rosalie and Jasper gone, I never had to worry about arguments. Bella rarely brought people over._

_I spotted her sitting on the sofa, but she was only sitting there. Her brow was furrowed and she kept muttering to herself. I slipped out of my work heels and set down my briefcase. I walked over to her, but my presence didn't seem to register with her at all. I was instantly worried._

_I came to sit beside her on the sofa, which seemed to startle her. "Mom," she clutched her chest. "When did you get home?" She glanced at the clock. "Oh wow, is it really six?" She was seriously out of sorts today._

_I held back a chuckle. Laughing at her would not get her to open up. "Something on your mind kiddo?"_

_She leaned back. "I don't know. Mom, how did you know you liked dad?" She looked at me expectantly. _

_I made myself more comfortable. "Well back in the seventies as I am sure you know things were changing. Guys didn't court girls like they used to. We sort of got to pick ourselves, and yeah it would be nice if your dad approved; but that didn't always happen. I was," oh fuck, I was high as kite. I could lie or I could tell the truth. "Look I am going to be honest, the sixties and seventies were a time of a lot of drug experimentation. Now I never did any of the hard stuff, but I smoked a lot of pot in my college days."_

_Her eyes widened dramatically. "You're serious?" She asked._

_I nodded. "I don't regret it honey. Life is strange, but my pot smoking days led me to your father. He happened to be at one of the parties, I guess you could call them, I attended. Your father was handsome, oh who am I kidding, he was sexy as hell." Her face scrunched up in disgust. I laughed at her reaction. "Parents do have lives before their parents Bella. Anyways, I was instantly attracted to this guy who seemed otherworldly. The only reason I even had the nerve to go up and talk to him was because I was high as a kite. I was pretty shy back then, much like you can be. He laughed at all the bullshit that came flying out of my mouth. It turned out as we got to know each other we had a lot in common."_

_She was laughing with tears streaming down her face. "But daddy is always saying how we shouldn't smoke pot. Yet, he goes out with you." _

"_Yes, well things were different back then. It was still five years before we were married, and six before Jasper was born. After I met your father, I stopped going to those parties. He took me out on dates instead. Now why are you asking me about all this anyways? Is there a boy I should know about?" I quirked a brow. _

_She bit her lip thoughtfully, and I could see a faint pinkness on her cheeks. "I guess. I only met him today, but he makes my heart go all fluttery. He flirted with me, I think. I gave him the number for my phone in my room, and he called earlier. We talked for nearly an hour. He's funny and smart. He's in my bio class, but he pissed me off when we first met."_

"_You my love, are already halfway in love. It's okay to like a guy. Don't listen to your father because he was a fifteen year old boy once. Follow your heart and you will know what to do." _

_I was surprised when she threw her arms around my neck and whisper, "Thanks mom, I love you." I hesitantly wrapped mine around her. Moments like these were few and far between._

Three hours later

Posy was asleep in my lap. Her head rested on my bosom, and Liam was resting against my side. They were confused, and I knew Edward hadn't told them anything. Carlisle and Edward had disappeared somewhere in the hospital. Carlisle was the first man to ever love our daughter, and Edward was the only man in her life now. It was hard on both of them.

Jasper was red eyed beside Rosalie, who wouldn't stop crying. She looked awful with her hair up in a messy bun. She barely resembled the woman who attended dinner at my house every Sunday night. Jasper had his arm wrapped around her, and it would have been sweet, if not for the reason we were here. There was no laughter. There were only tears and prayers.

Posy shifted in my lap. She rubbed her little eyes as she took in her surroundings. She began crying for her mommy. "Grandma, where's mommy?" She asked, clearly upset.

"Mommy was hurt. The doctors are fixing her now." It is best to keep things simple for a child. They want to understand the things they can't.

Her eyes, the same color as my daughters were filled with unshed tears. She was six now, and the entire situation was confusing for her. "Doctors like grandpa?"

"Yes, doctors just like grandpa are working on her."

"Is mommy going to die?" Her little lips trembled.

I held her tighter to my body. "I hope not." I couldn't make her promises.

BPOV

I was cold. It was dark. I couldn't see. "Edward," I cried out.

"Edward, isn't here." A voice answered.

"Where am I?"

There was a bright light. "Bella, you're in the in-between."

"Grandma," I rushed to her. I hadn't seen her since I was ten. She died. "Oh no, I'm dead aren't I?"

She merely smiled. "Not yet."

"But I am going to die." It wasn't a question.

"If you keep talking like that you will. Isabella Rosemarie Cullen, you were not raised to give up. What did you do the time you fell out of your turn at your ballet recital?"

"I kept dancing." I replied meekly.

"Exactly, and the time you got hit in the face with the soccer ball, did you stop playing?"

"No, I spit out the three teeth that were knocked out and handed them to my mom before telling my coach I wanted to keep playing."

"You've got so much to live for to just give up now. You will die, but you aren't supposed to today. Today was an accident. It was unexpected. I've been watching over you, and you have made me proud to call you my granddaughter."

I wiped away the tears. "I miss you."

"I miss you too wyres." (Granddaughter in welsh)

"I haven't heard anyone speak welsh to me in years."

"Yes, your mother was always a tad hopeless. I miss her too, my little Es. I need you to keep fighting. Whatever happens do not give up, promise me."

I promised her. "Will I ever see you again?"

"Of course, we all die sometime. Make sure you bring that hunk of a man with you, you did good Iz." She was gone in a flash of light.

I was close to giving up before she came. She was right just as she had been in life. I can't give up. I don't want to give up. I decided I was going to fight.

"Isabella," a man called to me. "Someone turn down the lights, I think she is coming to." Things were a little blurry as my eyes opened.

It took a few minutes for my eyes to focus. There was a doctor in front of me. "Hi, I am Doctor Wainwright. Do you know what happened to you?"

I shook my head. I was really confused. "You were in a car accident two weeks ago. Your airbag didn't deploy, and your head smashed into the dashboard." That would definitely explain the killer headache.

"Can you tell me your name?"

I nodded. It took a few tries to get my lips to cooperate. "Bella Cullen."

He smiled. "Do you have any children?"

"Yes."

"Can you tell me how many?"

"There is Liam. He's seven almost eight. Posy turned six recently. Then there's," I placed my hands on my flat stomach. Flat, no please don't tell me they didn't survive. I started hyperventilating, and a nurse gave me a sedative because I refused to calm down.

I slept a few hours. There wasn't any pain as I slept, which was a good thing. Waking up was a real bitch. I could tell that I had fractured a few ribs because I was in some serious pain. My left arm had a cast, but other than a few scratches, there weren't any other injuries as far as I could tell. I woke up though because my head was pounding. There in front of me with his head on the bed was Edward. He was beautiful and tired. I lifted my arm with a little pain to reach out to him. My hand played with his hair, and he relaxed. He was too tense for my liking.

I knew he was only tense because of my current predicament. His green eyes opened slowly. He stared at me. We stayed like that for minutes, hours, who knows. He was the first to speak. "Don't you ever do that to me again, when your parents called me, I thought I was going to die. You are my life. I can't do this without you."

I felt terrible. Edward had gone through so much because of me. "Stop with whatever you are thinking this instant." I looked at him in shock. "I've known you for almost seventeen years, and you are feeling guilty. There's no need. You're safe and perfect. You were a little banged up, but you're fine now."

"Edward, what happened to the babies?"

He refused to meet my gaze. "Oh Bella," he sighed. I cried. "They are tiny. You were six months pregnant, and they are currently in the NICU. Other than some breathing problems and some jaundice, they are perfectly healthy. They are underweight, barely two lbs." My body sagged in relief, though the crying didn't let up. "Our daughter came out first. Our son was a little more difficult, but he's good. The doctors are going to keep them here until they can breathe on their own as well as gain some weight. They were lucky. However, they had to do an emergency hysterectomy falling their birth. They couldn't get the bleeding to stop. I'm so sorry." I shushed him. I was fine with the children we already had.

"What about Laurie, is she okay?"

"I'm so sorry Bella. She had internal bleeding, and it took the doctors too long to discover it. She died here in the hospital with her husband and daughter beside her. He doesn't blame you in the slightest. You guys were hit by a drunk driver. The driver was announced dead at the scene. Apparently, he decided to go on a bender after his wife left with their kids. He wasn't wearing a seatbelt, and went through the windshield upon impact."

I was lucky. Gran said it was an accident. "I almost died." He didn't negate me.

"Your heart stopped twice in surgery. The first one was only thirty seconds. The second time was two minutes. For two minutes, Bella you were gone from me."

"I saw my gran. She was there with me. She said I had to fight. I had never given up before, and I was raised to fight. I knew she was right. So I did. I fought to get back to you and our children."

"Bella I know the circumstances are shitty, but I don't want to spend another day shrouded by uncertainty. If you would do me the honor, I would like to be your husband again. I know what it's like to lose you, and I cannot imagine a day where I am not with you. I want to wake up with you in my arms every morning. I want us to wrestle our children into their beds. I want to grow old with you, and tell our grandchildren all about our life from the very beginning. So what I would like to know is if you will marry me?"

"It took you long enough." He grinned and leaned in to give me a small kiss. "I love you Edward, so much. I know I haven't always done the best job of showing it, but if the last year has taught me anything, life is unexpected. Things happen at the flick of a wrist, and your whole life can be turned upside down as a result. I want all of those things as well so yes I will marry you again."

"I love you too Bella. Now I have two little children who have been missing their mother like crazy."

He went out into the hall and came back in a few minutes with Posy and Liam. "Mommy," Posy cried out. She ran over to me, and climbed into the seat her father vacated. "Mommy I prayed and prayed that you would wake up. I didn't know if you were gonna. Your eyes wouldn't open when I talked to you. I wouldn't even go to school because I just wanted to see you." I shot Edward a glare. I couldn't believe he let Posy miss that much school. "All I wanted for you was to get better. You better now?"

"I am so much better now that I have my baby girl."

Posy frowned at me. "Isn't the new baby, your baby girl?"

I shook my head well as much as I could anyways. "Nope, you will always be my baby girl. You're my Posy. I love you so, so much." I caressed her sweet little face with my good hand.

"I love you too sooo much." She indicated with her arms spread as wide as they could go how much she loved me.

Liam came around the other side. He looked fearful of all the needles and tubes surrounding me. "It's okay Liam. Mommy is better now." He looked skeptical. He was after all almost eight. "I promise I am not telling you that to make you feel better. I really am better. I won't be able to go home for a few days, but I promise we can have a family movie night when I get back home."

A smile formed on his face. "With movie theater butter popcorn?"

I winced from laughing. "Yes."

"Mommy can we watch Frozen?" Posy asked.

Posy had loved that movie since we bought it for her last year. She had watched it more times than I could count. Her favorite song was Do You Want to Build a Snowman?

However, I knew how scared they were and at this point, I would agree to anything that allowed me to spend time with them. "Yes we can watch Frozen." Liam groaned beside me. Edward glared at me from the doorway. He wanted to hide the movie from her because she didn't understand that the television didn't need to be on a high volume when she watched it.

My parents and siblings stopped by a little later. I gave my mother the longest hug. She was a strong woman. My dad kissed my forehead. Jasper joked about my demon dog. Rosalie said we would hangout as soon as I got the all clear. Even Edward's family stopped by later. Elizabeth and Edward Sr. apologized for the frostiness towards me, but they had to stick with their son. I told them all was forgiven because I would've done the same thing if I was in their shoes. His sister Elsa stopped by as well. She had the same hair color as Edward, but the grey eyes of her father. She was named after their mother like Edward was name after his father.

I wouldn't be able to meet my babies until I was discharged. I could risk giving them an infection, and I was still a patient myself. I was a bit disgruntled since just about everyone in my family had at least seen them before me. Edward showed me pictures, but I couldn't name them unless I saw them with my own eyes. I had a few names picked out, but I couldn't be sure until I met them.

I couldn't let Edward name them because his names were always something stupid like Mildred or Elspeth. I named Liam and Posy. Liam's entire name was Liam Alexander Masen, while Posy's is Posy Elizabeth Masen. We named her after her grandmother because she was the one who was there when Posy was born. Edward had to make a last minute trip out of town, and neither of us was expecting me to give birth when I did. She kept me level headed during the entire labor.

Three Weeks Later

I had physical therapy three times a week. My arm was still healing, but hopefully the cast would be coming off next week. Then I would only have to wear a brace, which was a bit more tolerable. I was wobbly the first time I attempted walking after the accident. I accidently pulled my stitches, which caused excessive bleeding in abdomen. That set me back another week. My father reprimanded me after he found out.

After that I was confined to my bed for a few more days because they didn't trust me not to over exert myself. Edward was pissed at me. He said I was being careless, and that I needed to listen to the doctors because they knew best. We talked out our feelings on the matter, and I agreed that he was right. He told me how it felt to know that I might die, and we would never get a chance to make things completely right. Lauren was right. Talking things out made us both feel better.

That leads to today. I finally got to leave the hospital. The babies were stuck there for another month or two. They were gaining weight, but not enough to where they could go home. They still had problems breathing without the tubes, but their jaundice was clearing up. I would finally be able to meet them today after so long. It had been a month since the accident.

Laurie's husband came by to visit me, and he said the same thing Edward did. He didn't blame me. I hugged him, and told him to keep in contact.

Edward said visiting the twins could wait until tomorrow. We were both a little sad that they wouldn't be coming home with us for a while. I couldn't help but feel relieved that I was finally out of the hospital. I missed bedtime with my kids. Posy clung to me from the moment we walked through the door. Children have the uncanny ability to know something is wrong even if they can't fully understand it. Posy knew that Mommy almost died, and it scared her. Edward and I talked about therapy for both her and Liam to help them cope with what happened. We discussed at length, and decided it was something looking into.

Posy and Liam had gone through a lot within the last year, and most kids tend to hide things they think will upset their parents. I wanted them to feel that they could talk to us about anything. It was hard knowing that your actions hurt your child. If Edward and I had actually sat down and talked, our problems could have been easily solved. We acted immaturely, not only hurting our children, but our family, and ultimately ourselves. I guess in retrospect, we had a lot to learn about communication.

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**A/N- I read all your reviews, and decided they suffered enough from their own decisions. Next chapter, you will get to meet the twins, let me know what you think. Oh yeah, and if anyone is interested in making a banner, or knows someone who can message me.**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N- I've been home for two weeks, but I couldn't find it in me to write. I would sit at my computer, and I would type and then backspace. Half of the chapter has been written for a few days. I just didn't know what I wanted to write. So there is one more chapter left, and I am not doing an epilogue as originally planned. There might be an outtake or two. I don't know exactly when they will be posted because I have been binging on old tv shows for the last two or three weeks. Right now I am currently watching Boy Meets World. It's been a week, and I am only halfway through. As usual all mistakes are mine.**

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Car is parked, bags are packed, but what kind of heart doesn't look back

At the comfortable glow from the porch, the one I will still call yours?

All those words came undone and now I'm not the only one

Facing the ghosts that decide if the fire inside still burns

_January 2002_

_The sad truth is that our first break-up wasn't our last one before we got married. In total, we have broken up three times. The first was in high school, the second-college, and the last-marriage. However, every time we part something pushes us back together. I liked to think of it as fate. What else would push so hard to make sure that two people would be together. _

_We broke up because we were like an old married couple. We grew to be too comfortable with one another, and I didn't know if I wanted to spend the rest of my life with all the passion absent from my relationship. I loved him more than anything, but sometimes love isn't enough. People want romance and spontaneity. We had neither in our relationship. We were young still. At nineteen, people shouldn't feel like they're settling. _

"_I'm sorry Edward."_

"_I'm sorry too."_

"_I think it's better this way. We would grow to hate each other, and I wouldn't be able to bear that. We can't be that couple. The one who stays in on a Friday night to watch television. I think we need to break-up. Seeing other people is the best thing we could do."_

_I refused to meet his gaze. "You're right Bella. The thing is I don't want to see, hear, or talk to you. It hurts too much. Maybe we could be friends one day, but right now we need a complete break from each other."_

_I sniffled. "Yes, here's the ring back." I slid my engagement ring off my finger. He had proposed at Christmastime, and I said yes. I meant it too. "I will always love you." He turned away, unable to look at me anymore. "Goodbye." We had lived in an apartment together, and I was moving out. I would be staying with my parents for the time being until I could make other arrangements. _

_This break-up didn't hurt as much as I thought it would because it was completely mutual. We were stuck, and we were lying to ourselves. We were trying to make it work. Rosie was right when she told me that it was better to have loved and lost than never have loved at all. Sure it was painful, but at least I experienced what it felt like to be in love. How many people can actually say that?_

_The time wasn't right. It would be again, but for the moment we needed the time apart to figure out who we were. We rushed into things, and moved in together without really understanding the ramifications it could have on our relationship. I wasn't giving up hope that one day we would be married with children. He was the only person I wanted a future with._

All I have, all I need, he's the air I would kill to breathe

Holds my love in his hands, still I'm searching for something

Out of breath, I am left hoping someday I'll breathe again

I'll breathe again

_May 2002_

"_Rosalie," I whined as she dragged me down the street. She had been secretive over the last month or so, and I suspected it was because she was dating someone._

"_Bella, I don't ask for much. Can't you do this one little thing for me?" She stuck her bottom lip out._

_I giggled at her. "I'm not dad Ro. But fine," I huffed. I only agreed because then she would owe me a favor in return. "Can you at least tell me what we are doing though?"_

_She halted in her tracks, almost causing me to crash into her. As I scrutinized her, I noticed a peculiarity in her checks. She was blushing. She was also fidgeting more than usual, and I had a feeling I was being dragged into something I wasn't sure I wanted a part of. I crossed my arms. She threw her arms up in the air because she knew I wouldn't let it go. "We are having a stake out."_

_I quirked an eyebrow because she had truly lost her mind. "What did my Ivy league graduate of a sister just say? Cause I know you didn't just tell me that you are stalking someone." And then I gasped. Rosalie's cheeks darkened further. "Please, please tell me you aren't stalking who I think you are."_

_She shifted her weight to her other leg. "It's not what you think Bella."_

_I nodded. "Uh huh, so my independent, loving, but stupid sister isn't stalking her ex-boyfriend who may I add she broke up with amicably?"_

"_Well I don't do it every day." She added. _

"_Cause that really makes it less creepy." I muttered. _

"_Bella, if you knew Edward was dating someone else, wouldn't you want to know who it was?" I hesitated when answering, which she took advantage of. "I mean it is obvious to the entire family you are still in love with the man. Would you really be okay with the fact that he could have found someone else in your time apart? Someone who makes him happy, and that he could potentially spend the rest of his life with."_

_I know she wasn't trying to piss me off, but I was getting angry. There was no need for her to bring my previous relationship with Edward into the mix. True to his word, he hadn't attempted to contact me in the last four months. He never looked in my direction if we happened to pass by one another. It was hard attending church because he would be there. He was everywhere, and yet I still felt alone. _

_Crying had become my favorite pastime as of late. I couldn't seem to stop. I was upset by everything. I hated the feeling of despair. Edward brought a girl with him to church the past two Sundays. She was even quite cozy with his parents and sister. I couldn't show any emotions. I pretended not to notice or care. _

"_Bella, earth to Bella," Rosalie called, snapping me out of my thoughts._

"_You're right. I'll help you. We can't tell mom or dad though. They would surely have us committed for insanity."_

_That is how I found myself sitting outside at a café with huge sunglasses on my face, watching the love of Rosalie's life with another girl. "She's not as pretty as you." I assured my sister like any good sister would._

_She was on the verge of tears, and I didn't know what else to do to cheer her up. We had lived a fairly charmed life, and neither of us had any real experience dealing with heartbreak. Our grandparents were still alive, old but alive. Our parents were healthy. Things of this nature had never happened to us before. _

_I never thought I would see the day where Emmett actually went out with another girl who wasn't my sister. However, here we were watching him smile and flirt with some red headed tart. He seemed interested in the girl, which was probably tearing Rosie apart on the inside. I glanced at my sister to see that she had a serene look upon her face. _

_My face scrunched up in confusion. I thought she would be angry that he was having a nice time with another girl. Instead I saw her with a fond smile on her face. "He's happy. How can I fault him for that?" She answered my unspoken question. "Maybe it is time for me to move on too."_

_I stared at her. "Who are you and what have you done with my sister?"_

"_Bella, look at him, truly look at him and tell me what you see." I did as she asked._

"_He looks happy. He's not mopey or depressed. He smiles every time he connects eyes with that girl."_

_I heard her sniffle. "That's all I ever wanted for him. I wanted him to have every opportunity in life. How could he know he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me if I am the only girl he has ever been with? That's not how it's done anymore. The fact is, I am not what he wants. He will always be my first love, but it's time that I grow up. I can't entertain childish fancies that will never come true." She got up, flipped her hair, and quickly scurried down the street without Emmett noticing her._

_A lump had settled in my throat. I was behaving naively. Edward had every right to move on with someone else. I didn't have any attachments to him, and he was his own person. He could make his own decisions about his life and who he chose to spend his company with. Like Rosalie said, he would always be my first love, but who says your first is your only. _

_I paid the check, and snuck another glance at Emmett before I left. Things had changed between all of us. I thought they would last forever, but that was just childish wishing. In life, we have to make our own wishes come true. _

Present

The first time I laid eyes on my children, it was behind a glass window. I watched my husband, parents, and in-laws hold them, while I watched from a wheel chair in the hall. My doctor was worried about my incision at the time since I had put a lot of stress on my body. Physical therapy was intense, and I just wanted to be better already. I had another surgery to re-break a bone in my arm because it wasn't healing properly.

I was in pain for a few days. Posy was there every morning before school, and every afternoon until visiting hours ended. She hated the idea of being away from me because she was still young and was scared. Liam handled the situation much better than either of us had anticipated. I realized that he wasn't my little boy anymore. He was growing up, much too quickly. He visited in the afternoons, but only spent an hour or so in my room before leaving.

My babies didn't even know I existed. I could see them through the glass, and I was pretty certain about their names. I needed to hold them though to make sure that they were who I thought they were. I was allowed in the NICU once during my stay in the hospital, and it was brief. The babies were still in their incubators at the time so I couldn't hold them.

That way why today was so important, I could finally see the miracle children I gave birth to a month ago. They were much bigger than they had been at birth. They still needed to gain another pound or so before their doctors would consider letting them go home. Glancing around the NICU, I couldn't help but feel lucky compared to some of the other parents.

My children weren't on a donor list, and the chances that they would as infants were significantly low. Besides a little jaundice, some breathing problems, and low birth weight, my children were healthy. It was hard seeing all the sick babies. I watched several parents crying over incubators, and I felt my heart break for them.

I spotted the newest Masens. They were tiny even compared to Posy when she was born. It was surprising, and it was hard for me to imagine how little they were when they were born. I took a seat, and one of the nurses lifted my little girl out of her incubator. She cried a little, but quickly settled in her arms. When she was placed in my arms for the first time, I couldn't help but feel as if I was now whole. Her little hands were fisted, and she wiggled her little body.

"Sophie," I crooned softly to the little baby. "Your name is Sophie Rosemarie Masen. You're named after both of your great-grandmothers. They would have loved you." She was such a pretty baby. She looked like a little doll with her tiny rosebud lips and button nose. She had opened her eyes only a few times before now, but still had some problems dealing with the brightness. The nurse took her out of my arms, and my son was settled there a few minutes later. He was smaller than his sister.

He wasn't pretty like her, but I could see where he would be handsome one day. Edward's mother had shown me baby pictures of him, the first time I went over to his house. His mother joked about how her mother had said he was such an ugly baby the first time she met him. Elizabeth said he had character though. Apparently, her mother visited again two months later and didn't even recognize Edward. She had asked if they had replaced him with a cute baby. I laughed my head off because it was funny. He wasn't the best looking baby when he was born, but three months later he was hardly recognizable. I could see where his grandmother was coming from. I loved my son no matter what.

"Lucas Christian Masen," I swore he smiled at me. I know babies this young don't actually smile, but he did when I told him his name.

"Bella, he didn't smile." Edward told me an hour later when we were eating in the cafeteria.

"But I swear he did."

He merely rolled his eyes at me. "He probably had gas or something."

I huffed at him. "Fine whatever, I'm going to continue believing he smiled at me."

He laughed at my childish behavior. "So Lucas Christian, eh?"

I shrugged. "Well, I always liked the name Lucas growing up, and my grandfather's middle name was Christian. I thought it was a nice match."

He held up his hands. "I like it Bella. I probably would have caused our children to be teased mercilessly on the playground had you let me name them."

I stole one of his fries. "Yeah you would have. I mean Mildred, seriously?"

"Mildred is a perfectly decent name."

"Who do you know named Mildred?" I challenged.

He tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Uh well no one."

"Exactly, no one names their child Mildred anymore. Sophie will thank me when she's older."

"And that was my French fry you stole."

I grinned at him. "But baby, what happened to what's mine is yours?"

"Baby you can have it all."

My eyes lit up in delight. "I'm counting on that Mr. Masen. Our wedding is in two months, and I am going to want a wedding night better than the first."

His gaze darkened. "Your wish is my command." He whispered huskily.

"Down boy down, one we agreed to wait until we were married. Second of all, I can't because I haven't been cleared by my doctor." We were both sexually frustrated, and it was often difficult to resist temptation. "You have no idea how much I want you."

He shifted in his seat. "I think I have a clue." We both sighed in exasperation. I don't know how some people could go years in a marriage without having sex. It's the time you feel closest to your partner, and feeling close to Edward was something I missed. I missed the intimacy between the two of us. We rarely had a moment alone during the day. When we weren't at the hospital, we were with Posy and Liam. The fact of the matter was we were drowning in children.

"God Edward, why can't it just be our wedding night already?" I groaned. I wanted to beat my head into the table because I hadn't had any form of sexual gratification in over seven months. I was surprised I hadn't dried up down there.

"Soon Bella," he promised. I took his word on it.

_July 2002_

_Months had passed, and the days became easier to get through. I met someone. His name was Henry. He made me laugh. That was the first thing he did when we met. I had forgotten how good it felt to laugh. He tried to pick me up with a cheesy line, and while normally I would have rejected whoever it was, I liked it. I was able to laugh after so many months. _

_He asked me out to dinner, and the rest as they say is history. "Stop Henry," I laughed as he tried to feed me ice cream. He was really screwing it up though. More ice cream ended up on my face than in my actual mouth. _

"_Fine, ruin a man's fun."_

"_You are adorable when you pout." At first, I compared everything he did to Edward. When I realized what I had been doing, I stopped. No man should have to measure up to what I built Edward up to in my mind. Henry was Henry. I wasn't dating him because he was like Edward. In fact, you couldn't find two men completely different from each other. _

_Henry was a free spirit. He believed that you make your own destiny, and that there isn't a 'one'. You go through several 'ones'. We disagreed on that, which is why neither of us brought it up after the first time it was mentioned. He also distrusted authority figures, and I had to shut him up when he started droning on and on about how lawyers take advantage of people. He hit a little too close to home with that, and immediately apologized afterwards. I knew that the relationship wasn't going to last. We had almost nothing in common. It was a summer fling. I needed fun, and he provided it. We were shallow, and nowhere near being in love. _

_We spent the afternoon in the park. He made me laugh the entire time. Deep down I knew it wasn't going to last. _

_August 2002 _

_We broke up. I didn't shed a single tear. We weren't serious. He told me himself that he couldn't see a future with me. He liked me well enough, but we were a summer fling. _

_That was alright with me. We had used each other, and luckily I wouldn't have to see him again. He was only in Chicago for the summer, and would be going back to New Jersey in a few days. I realized an important lesson while dating him. I couldn't compromise my own beliefs to make someone happy. I am entitled to my own beliefs and value. We just didn't have what it took to make it work in the end. _

_Rosalie had dated like crazy over the summer. She had a new guy every week. They went on a few dates, and then she would dump them. She was crazy at the moment. My parents didn't know what was going on, and I preferred not to clue them in. My poor dad didn't need to have a coronary if he found out that his twenty-three old daughter had dated probably half the men in the city. My mother probably suspected something was going with us, but she had enough tact not to interfere with our lives. _

_One good thing did come out of my relationship with Henry. He helped me realize I needed to move out of my parents' house if I was ever going to have the freedom I desired. I moved in with Rosalie. I needed privacy, and if I continued to stay under my parents' roof I would never get it. _

_I was learning to live life without Edward, and it got easier every day. Sure some days are harder than others, but that's life. You win some, and unfortunately you lose some. The great thing is you never know what tomorrow will bring. Each day is a gift, and I finally understood that the years I spent with him were truly a gift. He changed me in ways I could never explain._

"_Bella, you are going to be late for work if you keep staring at yourself in the mirror."_

"_Oh shut up, you are just jealous that I am better lucking."_

_She scoffed. "Sure, cause I want to look that ugly."_

_We still acted like children at times. Over the summer, I decided to take up the opportunity from my ballet instructor to teach the five to seven year old class. I had fun teaching dance to little girls. I loved Dianne. I had known her my entire life thanks to Rosalie. She needed some extra help, and she was kind of enough to think of me._

"_You truly are one of my better students. You could have gone on to be a professional ballerina."_

_I shook my head at her. "Nice try, but I have only ever wanted to be a lawyer. Dancing is a hobby."_

"_Oh Bella," she sighed wistfully. "I wish I could be as young as you sometimes."_

_I frowned at her. "But you aren't old?" She was only forty._

'_You misunderstand me. Bella, you are young, and you think of the world as your oyster. Your problem is, is that you are stuck in this mindset where you have to prove yourself to everyone. The only person you should be proving yourself to is you. I've known you your entire life, and I have seen you strive for perfection. What you don't understand is that it doesn't exist. You can't always be better than someone. Everything in life worth having is worth working for."_

"_I'm not sure I follow."_

"_I want you to tell me five reasons why you want to be a lawyer."_

_I stared at her dumbly. "I'm sorry?"_

"_I'm serious Bella."_

"_Uh well I want to help people." I told her as if that was reason enough._

"_You can do that in a lot of professions honey."_

"_Look Dianne, I don't have my life all figured out like you do. All I know is that I want to be a lawyer. It is what I always wanted to be. I've worked hard my entire life to become one."_

"_You'll understand what I mean one day about doing something that makes you truly happy."_

_That truly something happy happened only a few days later. When you know you know. I saw him and I kissed him. I married him before school started because it made me happy. There was never anyone else. There couldn't be when he existed somewhere out there. He was my one. I knew everything about him, and while sometimes he frustrated me to no end, I would never give up one second of the time I spent with him for anything. _

Love Doesn't Come In A Minute,

Sometimes It Doesn't Come At All

I Only Know That When I'm In It

It Isn't Silly, No, It Isn't Silly, Love Isn't Silly At All.

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_Songs are Breath Again by Sarah Bareilles and Silly Love Songs by Paul McCartney_

**A/N- You shouldn't spend the rest of your life with the first person you date unless you date someone else. How do you know someone out there isn't more compatible for you? **

**I'm sorry it took me two weeks to post, but I wasn't feeling inspired. BMW has occupied most of my time. And then there is the other stuff I have had to do since I have been home. **

**Until next time,**

**Elle**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N- Honestly I don't care anymore what people think in regards to my writing. If they like it, they like. There are always going to people who don't like something. That's the way life is. You can't let all of the bad interfere with the good. This will probably be the last chapter. I may go back later this summer and add an epilogue. I don't know, but that's how life is. This is un-beta'd. Hope you guys enjoy.**

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"Bella may I be honest with you?"

I made myself more comfortable on the couch. "Like I told you, I want us to always be honest with each other. If you are having a bad day, I want you to tell me about it. You shouldn't have to feel like it has be a secret. I can't read your mind."

He placed his hand over mine. "The truth is that Posy wasn't the only reason I left that night. I didn't tell you she was sick because I needed time. So much has happened to us over the last two years, and like you I needed to process what happened. I truly thought we were over and done with, and that night old feelings resurfaced. I didn't want you to wake up and realize you made a mistake. That would have devastated me. I'm not as strong as I appear to be. When you didn't call me after that well I thought…" I covered his mouth with my hand. It was my turn to explain myself.

I took a deep breath to steady myself. "I guess I should tell you why I never called. I was scared like I told you. My whole life I wanted to be my own person. I didn't want to be the Cullens' youngest daughter, or Edward's wife, and Liam and Posy's mother. I was having an identity crisis that you happened to get in the middle of. My work was the one place where I was Bella. How could I ask you to come back to me when I didn't even know who I was? I was lost somewhere in my own head. The thing is it took me losing the most important person in my life not once but three times to realize that I am who I am because of you."

"Before I met you, I was a Barbie doll. I was drowning in my own success. I had forgotten how to have fun and live. My life was school, soccer, dance, student representative, Honors Society, etcetera. I was perfect, or as perfect as a person can be. With you there, I learned that I could truly do anything. I wasn't defined by who my parents are or my older siblings. I was Bella Cullen, and I could be proud of my own achievements without comparing it to my family. You drew me from my protective bubble, and I discovered my own potential thanks to you. Of course, I still had a lot of growing up to do, even when we got married. But so did you, and that is what marriage is. We should grow together not apart. I'm sorry we made decisions before talking everything through. Sending those divorce papers will always be my biggest regret."

He placed both hands on my face. "Oh honey, we have made a right old mess of everything. We put our children through emotional turmoil, and they will probably need therapy in the future." I chuckled. "I discovered that what I can't live without is you. We were young the first two times we broke up. What did I know about love? Breaking off our engagement and dating two other girls helped me realize that there is only ever you. From the moment you opened your smartass mouth back in tenth grade, I have been yours." I kissed him. It was short and sweet. It was us.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"I will be the one at the end of the aisle."

"I will be the one in the white." I winked at him. I cast one last lingering look before leaving him. The wedding was tomorrow, and my sister, Alice, and Edward's sister decided that even though we had been married before we weren't going to take any chances.

I spent the end of the night with my head in the toilet. My tolerance for alcohol was non-existent, and the three idiots had me drinking a lot of tequila.

"Come on Bella, we didn't get to have a bachelorette party the first time. What can go wrong?" That was very true. I wasn't able to legally drink. Alice was pregnant. Elsa was a few years away from being able to drink at the time. Rosalie didn't want to drink alone so we played games and there may have been a stripper, and maybe a little alcohol.

Those were famous last words because the rest of the night was pretty fuzzy. The only night we could do it was the one before the wedding since we had lives and children.

I groaned whilst leaning against the cold porcelain toilet. "Alice," I moaned out. I hadn't left my spot in front of the toilet in an hour.

Alice slowly walked into the bathroom with sunglasses on. "Please not so loud Bella."

"Sorry, I forgot you were drinking. I think I can remember five or was it six shots?"

She snorted. "Bella, I think you forgot the three bottles of green apple schnapps we downed once we got back to Elsa's."

"Oh God, never again will I drink like this. How did I do it when I was young?"

She left me in the bathroom, muttering something about fluids and aspirin. I stayed on the nice, cold bathroom floor until I eventually fell asleep. Loud knocking on the door woke me up to a bright sun. Rosalie walked in looking like hell.

"Damn girl, I didn't realize how much you had drank."

"Neither did I. How bad do I look?"

"Not too bad, and it's nothing make-up can't fix." I sighed in relief. "Are you feeling better?"

I held my thumb and forefinger about an inch apart. "A little, but I still feel horrible. I remember the first six shots," I tilted my head in confusion. "At least I think that was six. I don't remember much after Elsa started table dancing."

"Elsa table danced?" She looked utterly perplexed. It was too early to be thinking this hard.

"Yeah, don't you remember she even swung her shirt around?"

Rose shook her head. "I remember you getting up on the bar and dancing."

My eyes bugged out of my head. "I'm sorry?"

"You got up on the bar and announced to everyone you were getting married today. They cheered, and the bartender started playing some song. You were swaying your hips and rocking your head to the music."

I palmed my face. "Oh god, please tell me no one recorded that?"

"No can do babe, lots of people took out their phones."

"Kill me now."

"Sorry I can't. I promised Edward I would deliver his bride in perfect conditions, and I can't break my promise."

She helped me up. I stripped and took a shower. I reeked of alcohol and vomit. The shower helped clear my head, and I relaxed a little. Ali and Elsa were already waiting when I got out of the bathroom. For the next several hours, I was their little doll. I managed to fall asleep a few times because I was beyond exhausted. The night had worn me out. I wouldn't be drinking again anytime soon. Oh who was I kidding, I had at least one glass of wine a night. It was the perfect ending to an otherwise stressful day.

By the time they were done with me, the bags underneath my eyes were gone. My skin was smooth, and my make-up simple. They didn't go over the top since this wedding was much more relaxed than our first. We were getting married at the Arthur Caldwell Lily Pond. My dress was a simple cream dress with a sweetheart neckline that cut off at the knee. I wore diamond studs with my hair pinned to the side in some complicated bun.

"Bells, you have never looked Bella." Rosalie walked into the room in a lilac dress, making me want to weep in sadness.

I threw my hands up in the air. "How do you always look fantastic? You were completely trashed last night."

She let out a chime like laugh. "Oh Bella, I drank lots of water, and I drunk this hangover tonic Emmett makes. That stuff works." I crossed my arms. She wore her hair in curls. "I am so glad you finally dyed your roots. I know you were blonde growing up, but I am just so used to you with your brown hair."

I snorted. So was I. I had nothing against blondes, but I was born to be a brunette. "How much longer until we can leave?" I whined.

"Let Ali and Elsa get dressed and ready. Why don't you go sit over there and calm down." Calm down, I could do that.

I was panicking on the inside. What if he didn't show up? What if he did, and then decided he didn't want to marry me? What if our new marriage didn't work out? These questions had been hounding me for the last few hours. I pondered silently why I was feeling insecure, He married me before, and I wasn't even a teensy bit nervous the first time around. I guess back then I didn't have as much to lose. I was only gaining. Now we had everything to lose.

Edward loves me. We have four beautiful children. They love both of us. Life is hard. Anything worth having in life is worth working for. We were meant to be together. If we want to stay happy, communication is key. I can't read his mind, and he most definitely can't read mine. While neither of us is perfect, we somehow are perfectly imperfect together.

Later that night Edward and I were able to laugh about all of my doubts because they were funny. To think that I was nervous about something I had already done was comical. I loved him and he loved me. We still had problems, but what couple doesn't.

As he slid into me that night while we made love, I couldn't help but think: Finally, I'm home. We had our own rhythm. It was slow and languid, and I felt content.

I said something. Two words that meant everything. "I'm home." He knew what I meant because sometimes you just don't need to explain. But to get what you want and need, you have to say something.

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**A/N- Thank you to everyone who favorited, followed, or reviewed on this story. I will be posting another story in a few weeks so you can follow me. **

**Love, Ellie**


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